that, happened

chapter 4: we'll look back to this, definitely

"I..."

I can tell that she was trying to find an answer as I gave her a mini ultimatum and I, on the other hand, am eager to hear what she has to say. We are both fueled by the effect of alcohol that still reside within our bodies, making us bolder and more honest. I let my palms graze against her hips tenderly as she finally started to speak, "It's complicated, byul. I am already in a relationship with him, everyone knows. But I couldn't force myself to stay away from you." Before my mind can instantly think of incredulous thoughts about her statement, she continued to speak. "What we have, it's something I never felt with another girl friend. Do you think I don't notice how you stare at me? When we are on v live, tv shows, we would exchange shameless, almost everlasting gazes. How you are always the person who never fail to make me smile or laugh. You are the person who's always there for me when I am emotional, sad, happy, depressed. You are the person I chose to spend my birthdays with. At first, I just thought that you were just a best friend that I want to spend my every day with. Now, it's not just that. I found myself wanting you in other ways."

Hearing her say what was on her mind made me feel shy. Could you believe that? "I thought I was the greasy one. I have rubbed off on you." I chuckled, making her do the same. Her hands slid against my neck as her arms surround my nape, getting closer to me. "But, I assume you are not going to break up with eric, right?"

Her index finger started to tangle against a strand of my hair as she nervously answered my question. "I can't, now-" She was about to say something before she hesitated, making me cock my brow at her. "How shitty would I be if I said that I want you, too."

Did my ears deceive me? Did she seriously asked me to be her side piece? I have two choices I could make; I can agree and correct her by saying I am not just a side hoe to please her same sex exploration or I can disagree, telling her that I would be down for hookups. It was a logistically simple question with fifty-fifty chance of choosing the 'correct' answer, yet I found myself fluctuate between the two like the road not taken. I understand myself enough to know that if I let this continue, I would eventually fall for her, wanting more. Save yourself before it's too late moon byulyi. I screamed at myself in the panic room I built within my brain.

"Yes. That is shitty of you. That is very shitty of you." I said quietly. "But, I seem to have lost any self-respect I have for myself when I am with you. Because I am willing to be your dirty little secret and give you what you want." Saying this, I am treading the edge of my own insanity. I know this will end badly for me, but I wanted it. I want her. I want to show her how much fun she could have with me hoping that one day she would be mine and only mine. Great, it's already making me delusional.

She smiled. She got what she wanted. "Then, let's just make the best of it." One of her palm creeped towards my neck as her other hand tugged against my hair, bringing me closer to her. My hands forcefully pulled her closer, making her pelvis press onto mine. We are dangerously closer once again yet I broke our eye contact as the dome of my nose slinked from her philtrum to her lips only to flick up against her chin, only to see my action left her short breathed and mouth gaped. I took her lower lip and bit down onto it, giving her a pinch of pain before performing a suction within my mouth. I know that my slow movement is driving her crazy because I felt her body shiver above mine.

It was as if she couldn't be tamed nor lose to my tease. She gripped harshly onto my locks before exerting force downwards, making me let go of her lip and expose my neck to her. The saliva within my mouth was gulped down by this anticipating moment. She attacked my neck, leaving trails of soft yet wet kisses all over. My right eye twitched as the inside of my mouth was exposed to the air, instantly growing dry. I could feel her teeth cut against my pale skin and I didn't mind it. I liked being bit. While she found one of my weak spots, soft yet almost inaudible noises came out of my mouth, letting her know how I felt about her action – I wanted more. My hands voyaged under her shirt and down her pants, feeling her bare ass. Using my hands to cup her bum, I grated her body above mine as I wanted to exercise fiction against her clothed labia. It worked. I could feel her kisses against my neck was interrupted by a merciless bite. "Fuck." I said as I was caught off guard.