The Truth

A Vent (Half of this makes no sense so good luck)

This is pretty much just going to be me venting so sorry...

I'm honestly so fucking sick of people's shit like seriously why can't people learn to mind their own goddamn business and stay the fuck out of it!! Also why can't people learn to fucking keep a secret. It's not that freaking hard! I don't care how bad the secret it or who the secret involves, if someone trusts you enough to keep a secret then you fucking keep it. If you tell someone then the person whose secret you told is going to have to deal with the aftermath and is going to feel like shit the entire time.God is it really that hard just to keep your mouth shut?! Also I'm sick of being sad for absolutely no fucking reason. Like I wake up and I don't want to move or do anything, I just want to go back to sleep forever.  Like I don't even fucking know why either, I just do.

I found this on Pinterest and was so tempted to send it to my bf but I didn't want to because I didn't want to see his reaction to it. He'll probably see this anyway when he reads this if he does read this shit. It's literally so true though, like this is how I feel 99.9% of the time when it come to people falling in love or being in love with me.  There was another one but I can't fucking find the picture right now if I do I'll add it. Anyways though back to what I was venting about. I've written shit similar to this, if you've read my journal you'd understand, but never something this fucking deep and I kind of wish I would've because this describes me in so many ways. I've written letters to people that will never get read by those people(i'm not saying who), and I sometimes regret it. I also written countless suicide note but ended up burning them because I'm too scared to kill myself. Which is probably a good thing because if I'm alive I won't hurt people with my death although I'm pretty much dead inside so it doesn't really matter. I mean I'm happy, somewhat, my bf makes me happy, and so do my friends, but my happiness is covered up by my sadness, anger, and emptiness. A lot of the time now it's gotten to where I don't feel any emotions whatsoever and then all of a sudden I'll be either really sad or really pissed. I don't even fucking know what to do anymore and I'm honestly sick of trying to figure it out. I'm also sick of making the "I'm not going anywhere" promise because I can't keep that promise because who knows, I could die tomorrow and I would technically be breaking that promise. Anyway I'm should probably stop venting for now because y'all are probably sick of it. Until next time. Bye...