Live and Let Die

Jordan Green is Really Quite Oliverly

His names Antonio Evelyn Romero. Yeah long name ey. Luckily for the world he never admitted it. To the world he's known as Toni Romero, and only his family know otherwise.

The thing with Toni is he shows his true colours; and those colours are rainbow. Yes, he's gay. Yes, he's attractive. Yes, he wears fake tan because he's that pale, and all of his family are tanned as fuck.
Toni was in love. Well not in love, sort of. He was in love with the idea of love. In love with the idea of soul mates and star-crossed lovers. In love with the idea that for every Jack there's a Jill, or in his case, a Jack for a Jack.
But he was, kind of, in love with a guy called Jordan. Yes Jordan, and that was his biggest regret. He always had a list of regrets, on that lost was only 5, but all five was his biggest regrets. And No1 is usually liking someone. And this month's crush is Jordan Green.
The thing about this crush that was the most gut wrenching is that Jordan Green was straight. Straighter than a ruler. And not a flexible bendy ruler. A shatter resistant, see through, 30-inch ruler. I wonder what else is 30-inch thought Toni, but he was mortified to think about it.
So, it was Monday. Yes, a Monday. That dreadful day that everyone in existence hates with a passion. Jordan was sat around his usual gang, mostly girls but a couple of guys, probably talking about 1 Direction songs it something like that.
Toni was sat on the opposite table, sighing immensely with the hippies.
The hippies.
Like any other school, the school was parted, there was the popular kids, the kiddos with 56 thousand Facebook followers and phones storage is full up on just selfies.
Then there was the unpopular's. There were the pink ladies, a group of people who are obsessed with the 50's, hairspray and grease. The Jamaicans, the people who binge drink coffee, has dreadlocks, surf, and call everyone 'man' in a fake accent, listening to Bob Marley 24/7.
And then there was the hippies. The indie rock obsessed, black wearing, artistic, pierced, tattooed, alcoholic teens, the ones who barely talk and when they do, chances are they piss each other off.
Everyone had Jordan Green on Facebook, he was practically famous. It took Toni every ounce of courage to text him
Toni- Hey
Jordan- Erm...... hi
Toni- Wanna go on a date? Maybe?
Jordan- ...
Toni's heart sank. A popular girl who's had a fling with every boy on that table looked over Jordan's shoulder and saw the texts.
"Oh... My... God..." she squealed over any noise ok the school and laughed immensely, snatching Jordan's phone and showing it to everyone. "Grunge Gay Guy thinks Jordan's gay!!!"
Scattered laughs boomed from that table. The Jordan ran a hand through his golden locks and rolled his eyes.
"He's very not gay," a brunette sitting a little away from him giggled "well he did something very not gay things last night!"
Toni couldn't stand this anymore. Even the bitchy people on his table snickered at him.
He quickly walked to the men's room, staring at his reflection in the mirror. Please... why would someone like him anyway, like who's like a guy with too massive stretchers in his ears, two sleeves on his arms, wearing black and leather all the time. Like seriously, who would? He thought.
He soon got sick of his pitiful reflection, and stormed into a cubicle, his head in his hands sitting in the toilet.
The three dots on Facebook started to bubble around from Jordan. Ugh why??? He thought to himself, he's just going to embarrass himself again.
Jordan- So, when are we going on his date?
Shock pulsed within him, like why was Jordan Green wanting go on a date with him?
He staggered out of the cubicle and the first thing his two blue eyes laid on was Jordan.
"So, you want go now?" Jordan raised his eyebrows.

This caught him off guard, really guard "what-where-how-why-" he mumbled very quickly.

"What? You asked me out on a date, I said yes, in a strictly straight way."

"yea, yea of course, erm yea" he nodded, slightly confused on why he was saying yes. "we going now or..."

"yea, now's good" Jordan nodded and made his way out of the bathroom and out of the school, closely followed by Toni. "where we going then?"

He hadn't a clue, he wanted some food, he was way too hungry for life, but his uncle owned the Italian, and he couldn't go to spoons because chances are his dad's day drinking there.

"Starbucks?" Toni asked uneasily. At least there he wouldn't see anyone he knows, and he couldn't full fat, pig out. That's the thing Antonio hated the most about dates. Food. The 'being-starving-but-don't-want-to-look-fat' thing. So, while your ravenous staring at the kitchen you get a side salad. A side salad on the side of your diet water (if that's even a thing). He really wanted the janoskians 'real girls eat cake' thing to be real, in real life.

"Sure!" he grinned and started to walk. And then he remembered something, he didn't like coffee. Shit! Toni thought to himself. "What's your favourite film, lover boi?"

Toni had never been called 'lover boi' in his life, and quite frankly, he never wanted to again. Huh, he thought, quite frankly like why couldn't it be quite bobly or quite stevenly? He quickly banished the thought after saying it out loud by accident.

Jordan laughed "I thought I asked you about movies, not words but ok, I'll go with it" a small chuckle escaped his lips. It wasn't a judging chuckle, or even a mocking chuckle. Just one small genuine chuckle. "true, but I don't think any sane person would say 'quite bobly', they'd think we're talking about jelly."

Even Antonio laughed at this. "Ok true" he nodded "but what about quite Oliverly."

"Well, quite Oliverly, I think that's genius." he nodded, still smirking.

"You know, I met this guy called Jordan," teased Toni "and this Jordan Green is Really Quite Oliverly."

"What a coincidence I met this guy called Toby-"

"-Toni" he corrected.

"Oi! It's who I met and this guy is in fact called Toni, yeah yeah" he nodded "So, I met this guy called Toni, not Toby, and he's really quite Bobly. He also hates fish"

"Maybe he hates his own kind," observed Toni "Maybe he's a jelly fish who hates fish."

And it was true Jordan Green was really quite Oliverly, whatever the bloody hell that means.