The wingman nobody asked for

Hey! Can we meet up again?

The morning bus was crowded as usual that Rantarou had to stand up. Kaede was also standing with him and squished between them was Kokichi. "This sucks... Akamatsu-chan's boobs keep sagging into my shoulders!" Kokichi whined. "Hey!" Kaede yelled defensively. "Now you know what I meant when I said that the morning bus isn't so great?" Rantarou asked and Kokichi tried to nod with the limited amount of space. He was squished against Rantarou's and Kaede's chests. That is until Kokichi's vision grew even more limited by a pair of obnoxiously big blonde twin tails. "What the hell?!" Kokichi grumbled. He was surprised when the girl heard him because she turned around and said "suck it loser!" While sticking out her tongue. Rantarou sighed. "Great, we're stuck on a crowded bus and now we have to deal with Saionji-senpai." He mumbled. He was right, as the girl was indeed their upperclassman, Hiyoko Saionji from their school. "Wait what the hell?! You guys to go Hopes peak? Oh wait nevermind I think I know you losers! You're the smelly freshmen right?" She asked. Kaede blinked. "We're actually sophomores." She answered. "Oh yeah! I remember! That's the midget pigbarf that happens to be our student council president! I still refuse to believe it!" Hiyoko continued, looking at Kokichi. He didn't even need her to say his name to know she was talking about him. "Yeah you're right." Kokichi said, dejected. "Even if I am the ultimate supreme leader, I'm still a lowly sophomore.. I'm nowhere as tall and popular as you, Saionji-senpai.." Kokichi continued. Rantarou couldn't help but to snort, Kaede also looked fairly amused.

"Wow! Good to see that you know your place!" Hiyoko said with pride. Rantarou and Kaede were trying to contain their laughter, this girl clearly didn't know Kokichi at all. Kokichi's face was grim. "Are you serious right now?" He simply asked. "What?! You're going to pull some bullshit?" Hiyoko asked. "Hell Yeah I am! Because jokes on you, I was lying! Bitch I'm clearly taller than you, you're such a midget that you make Babyface-senpai the manliest man in the world! Also don't mention that I do have a status because I won that election fair and square and I have seniors respecting me because of it, y'know, calling me 'president' and all! Oh yeah and hon, I overheard some of your classmates talking some serious shit about you. Get that checked out." Kokichi said almost calmly with his voice unapologetically showing some, if not a lot of sass. "I'm still older than you! Meaning that I'm still above!" Hiyoko replied defensively. "Oh honey, you can't even go above me on the ruler." Kokichi continued to casually say with sass, roasting the girl with no mercy. "Hell! You're so low that I've had Tsumiki-senpai, you know the nurse's assistant and the girl that you always bully probably because you're insecure, actually go up to me and asked if she could boycott you, meaning that she will delay any chance she gets to help you! And since I loooove ruining people's lives, I said yes! So watch yourself nishishi~" Kokichi's face now the face of an imp, mischievous and full of malice. "You're joking!" Hiyoko yelled. "No, I'm not. She went up to me, all nervous and shaky. She was all like 'u-um Mr. President.. c-can I... a-ask you something..? C-can I boycott.. um.. S-Saionji-san..?'" Kokichi managed to make his voice high pitched and nervous to imitate her. "That skank!" Hiyoko said with blind rage. "Yup! So get that checked out and try to, I don't know, become a better person?" Kokichi said, ending the argument. "You little—" "please don't make so much noise." A polite voice interrupted them.

Kaede was the first one to recognize the source of the voice. "T-toujo-san?" Kaede asked. Indeed it was Kirumi who was standing there, her legs and back straight and her arms holding her suitcase in front of her in a sophisticated manner. "Pff and you were complaining about us upperclassmen being all high and mighty! I bet the Saishuu kids are worse! Isn't that right, Miss Saishuu bitch?" Hiyoko's face now in a sneer. "No, I respect you all as fellow highschool students. However, I don't think I can respect your attitude." Kirumi said gently. The three could feel their jaws open at Kirumi's unintentional roast. "Excuse me?!" Hiyoko exclaimed. "What I meant is that it's not clever to make a lot of ruckus in a public bus, let alone a morning bus. And I'm not just talking to you, I mean you too." Kirumi's eyes now at Kokichi. "Aww sowwy Toujo-chan." Kokichi said with a over exaggerated frown. "Wait- ah Akamatsu-san." Kirumi finally noticed Kaede. "Yeah he's a friend of mine, don't worry about it!" Kaede said with a small laugh. "Ah I see.. but my point still stands, the other passengers and I would rather have this bus be peaceful." Kirumi said calmly and Kaede nodded.

"I-I see that Toujo-san already calmed everyone down.." Next to Kirumi, came Shuuichi. "Were you planning on interfering?" Kirumi asked. "Well I'd be too nervous anyway, don't worry." Shuuichi replied. "I-I'm just glad that everyone calmed down.." He added with a relieved sigh. "Ew another Saishuu kid!" Hiyoko exclaimed. "I-I'm sorry, did I do something..?" Shuuichi responded, clearly now intimidated by Hiyoko. "Don't worry about her Saihara." Rantarou reassured. "Yeah! She's an annoying lil shit that makes everyone's lives a living hell!" Kokichi added with a huge grin. "Check yourself Liar McGee!" Hiyoko said defensively at Kokichi. "Please don't fight..!" Shuuichi let out, his voice surprisingly louder than usual. "He's right, calm down. Everyone's stops don't look so far." Rantarou added calmly. "Yeah! Let's just wait together peacefully!" Kaede said with a cheer. The bus was emptying and everyone finally managed to be seated. The stop to Saishuu was about two stops away. It was enough time for Shuuichi to comfortably seat himself next to Rantarou (gaining an unnecessary whistle from Kokichi). Rantarou was looking at the window, trying to not allow Kokichi to end up making this situation more awkward than it already was. It was until Rantarou suddenly felt someone's gentle hand on his arm. "Um.. I just wanted to ask if we can meet up after school.. I-I mean I don't think our schools are very far from eachother and I really want to spend time with you again, if that sounds okay.. ah! I-it doesn't even have to be today just whenever you're available!" Shuuichi managed to say after getting Rantarou's attention. "Oh it was just you Saihara, you scared me for a moment." Rantarou said with a laugh. "I-I didn't mean to..!" Shuuichi responded but Rantarou only chuckled. "It's alright. That sounds nice though, I don't mind it at all. If I can recall, I think Saishuu is just a few minutes walk away from Hope's Peak." Rantarou said with a smile. "I'll try to meet you by.. Let's say the front of Saishuu since you guys get out a little later." Rantarou thought for a moment before finally pinpointing the meeting place. The bus stopped and Rantarou could see the school building. Shuuichi began to get up. "Have a good day Saihara." Rantarou said with a casual chuckle, petting Shuuichi's head. The other's face flushed. "Ah y-you too..!" He said hurriedly and ended up rushing out of the bus with the other uniformed kids. "Whoa look at him, he's totally weak! And just from a head pat!" Kokichi pointed out. "Well, I guess he's not used to that either." Rantarou said with a chuckle.

The stop for Hope's Peak eventually came and the remaining students left the bus. As they did, Kokichi looked at Kaede and Rantarou. "Hey guys, you know what I said about Tsumiki-senpai?" He asked in a hushed tone. "Yeah?" Rantarou asked. Kokichi smirked. "I lied." He said in a whisper, the smirk still on his face. "But isn't that going to get Tsumiki-senpai in trouble with both Saionji-senpai and the nurse?" Kaede asked. "I dunno. Maybe it'll give Tsumiki-senpai some encouragement to actually do something. Either way, I don't really care. The look on Saionji-senpai's face was just hilarious." Kokichi explained casually. "You're terrible." Rantarou stated. "Yeah I know!" Kokichi said with glee. "Geez.. you're really going to get in trouble one day.." Kaede said with a sigh.

"Oh yeah! Akamatsu-chan!" Kokichi suddenly cheered with a clap of his hands. "What is it?" Kaede asked. "I wanna tell you something! So basically Saihara-chan sort of asked Amami-chan out!" Kokichi said with a cheer. "What do you mean?" Kaede asked. "He just asked if we could meet up after school. It's no big deal. Ouma needs to stop over exaggerating everything." Rantarou explained nonchalantly. "But are you actually going to do it though?" Kaede asked. "I mean why not. It's nothing harmful." Rantarou replied casually.