Spotlight

35

"You didn't have to..." I gasped. Time froze for a few moments while he fixed up his own book and told the cashier to keep the change. I didn't fight him for the cost of the book because I knew he wouldn't want me to pay him back.

We exited the book store together and I almost felt like it was old times when I lived at Tristan's house and knew them all so well.

"Have you been in contact with Tristan today?" he asked. The sun was shining in his eyes, so he squinted to avoid the burn from the strong rays. He would have seen him today and known we weren't talking, so he was obviously testing me.

"I don't talk to him anymore," I aggressively said. I didn't. I wasn't lying.

"You should," Blake replied.

"Look, I know you think I should – but I'm happy now. I don't want to be thinking about him anymore."

Blake looked down at the concrete paving and shook his head slightly. I slowly turned my back and began to walk, something I felt I had been doing all too often.

"You really don't know do you?" he asked in a passive aggressive tone.

"Know what, Blake?" I asked. I was sick of this back and forward between him and myself. It was over, when was everyone else going to accept that? I could tell from Blake's eyes that he genuinely cared about his best friend. It's a shame I couldn't anymore.

"He's the worst he's ever been. I don't think he's ever going to be okay Mae." His fingers dug into his pockets. What about me? Why didn't anyone ever ask if I was okay? I wish I could walk away, but I knew that my heart was too big to forget about Tristan so easily.

"He might not be Blake, but he is the one who did this to himself. He didn't have to push me away." I pushed my sunglasses back over my face to lower the chance of getting recognized by the paparazzi. That was honestly the last thing I wanted right now. They would take photos Blake and I and assume that I was cheating on Tate.

The world that I lived in was cruel and heart breaking. I never knew who to trust or who had my back when I needed it.

Instead of staying and fighting, I turned my back on Blake and continued to walk down the footpath towards the taxi bay in the next street. I left Blake in the dust behind me. I climbed into the closest taxi, and slammed the door behind me. I quickly directed him to my apartment and before I knew it, we drove past Blake as he waited outside the bookshop with his paper bag full of his purchased books.

It felt like a scene from a movie as I watched the rain droplets fall down the windows of my taxi and awaited the short ride to my apartment.

Tristan was one of the few things that I was once sure of, but I felt like that was the younger version of myself. Sometimes I wasn't sure if I wanted myself to be rid of him, or if I wanted him to be closer.

Although I tried to forget what Blake told me, my heart wrenched at the thought of him struggling again. I hoped he wasn't doing something stupid in the darkness of his apartment, or taking one too many sleeping pills.

The next few days we lived through what had been one of the worst storms in the history of New York. Tate and I were restricted to stay within my apartment in the city until the rain stopped. The streets below us were constantly flooding over with dirty rain water.

Flights in and out of the city had been cancelled due to the copious rain and thunderstorms.

Tate was lying on my bed late afternoon, when I escaped from the kitchen to join him on the fluffy sheets. Recently I had purchased new throws to make the bed a little softer. I fiddled with his soft arms before wrapping myself under his right one.