No Strings Attached

Chapter Forty

I barely hear the judge say my name, calling the first witness...me. I've missed minutes of this trial already, staring at the man I both love and hate. I blink, finding my resolution again, tearing my eyes from him just as he discovers me staring.

I stand, knowing all eyes are now on me.

***

"Thank you, Ms. Bardot. You may step down."

My eyes are frozen on the hateful man glowering at me from the defendant's table. Tony is guilty. Nothing I said today meant anything. The evidence Summer found was enough to sentence him. This was all just formality. I stand, glancing over instinctively to Giovanni for the first time since I began speaking. He nods, smiling gently.

My hands tremble as I make my way back to the seats, shrinking at hostile atmosphere all around me. As I lower into my seat, I realize Giovanni's mother and sister have been watching me. I wonder what they know, what he omitted.

I sit down, forcing myself to face the judge. But as if compelled, my gaze constantly shifts to Giovanni. While Summer approaches the witness stand, I'm stuck watching him move, listen, do nothing. My heart hasn't slowed. I'm scared for what it's doing to me physically.

Being near him is disorienting. Hearing him speak is worse.

I won't even begin to describe what it feels like when I'm staring and he senses it, turning his face towards mine discreetly. The rage is overwhelming.

I'm mad. I'm so fucking mad.

Six months hasn't made it any better. If anything, it's worse.

As soon as the judge calls for a recess, I'm springing from my seat, turning with a desperate urge to get away from here. I can't get to the doors fast enough. My work is done here. I need to go.

I slip through the doors before the crowds file out and look towards the windows, already seeing flashes from the outside. Miraculously before me, there is a sign for the south entrance. I begin to dig out my cell to inform Norman's driver to pick me up there.

"The crowds are terrible," I relay. "Meet me at the south entrance, please."

"Right away."

I hang up, striding fast down a pair of steps, moving through a maze to get to the other side of the building.

"Scarlett."

My eyes widen.

"Scarlett."

I push myself faster, as fast as I can in heels.

Keep going. Keep going.

"Scarlett, stop!"

"Why?" I turn to him, eyes wide with outrage. "What do you want?"

"None of this is what I wanted," Giovanni says, out of breath. "I never wanted to leave. I... I need you to believe that."

"Well, I don't."

I turn and continue walking.

"Scarlett, you don't know how many times I've wanted to call, tried to–"

"I don't give a fuck."

"Scarlett."

"YOU LEFT ME!" I bellow, turning on my heel to him. He freezes, only inches away from my face. I stare up at him, heaving. "You abandoned me when I needed you! I will never be able to forgive you for that so don't bother trying!"

He exhales, trying to grab my hand. I snatch it away.

"You begged me to bare my soul to you and then you discarded it like goddamn trash once you had it!"

A sob rips through me. I hold up my hand in the air, my fingers tense. I press it to my face, trying to stop myself from giving him any of this.

"I know I did. I know you trusted me, and I left. I know I hurt you—"

"HURT?" I gasp, laughing through the tears. "HURT? Giovanni, hurt was when those pictures came out. That was hurt. This was destruction. You fucking destroyed me."

I step up to him, hearing a low growl in my chest. "You are just like every other man. You use and play and fuck until you are satisfied."

His eyes widen in disbelief, horrified. "Scarlett, that is not true. You know that's not how it was. What happened between us was the realest thing I've ever felt... This hasn't been easy for me either!"

"I don't care how you feel. You left. I don't have to care how you feel." My eyes move over his features wildly. "I laid myself before you in that office and you were unfeeling. You were desperate to get out of there. You were desperate to leave me behind!"

He grasps my face between his hands, thumbs swiping away my tears. His eyes are wide with desperation. "You don't understand. You don't understand. I had to go... Scarlett, I love you. You have to know that."

I tear at his hands with my own, turning my face from him. "No. No."

"Scarlett, I love you. I love you... I am always going to love you."

"No!"

My heart is being torn in half. Why is he doing this? Why is he doing this to me?

How can he be this cruel?

"No matter where we are, how far apart we are, I love you," he whispers hastily.

I turn my face back to his, sobbing. "Well, I hate you. I fucking hate you!"

His endearing gaze falters. I hope he knows what he's done. "No, you don't."

I nod, closing my eyes, pushing his hands from me. "Let me go."

"Scarlett."

I turn, feeling physical pain. His footsteps rain down behind me. He grabs my hand.

"Don't leave like this, please. Talk to me."

I look at him, my vision clearing as my tears flow freely. "Let me go."

"I don't want to," he whispers, his eyes full of fear, full of a suppressed pain. I'm seeing glimpses of the man in that office.

Somehow, it calms me. I pull my hand from his, slowly.

"Giovanni... you already did."

I turn from him, grabbing onto the rail of the steps, seeing an empty corridor leading to sunlight. I can't get to the doors fast enough. I push on them, refusing to look back, knowing he's still there—watching me go.