When we moved, it was hard. Our new home was a complete wreck, but at least it was a house. There were creaky floorboards everywhere and the wallpaper was peeling but we got it fixed up after a few months. I must admit my mother was unbelievably productive compared to what she used to be, but that's fairly obvious I guess.
She left her own room until last which I thought was thoughtful of her but it meant when my aunt came to stay one night she had to sleep in my room. Both me and mother slept on the sofa which wasn't so bad although it wasn't exactly perfect sleeping conditions.
Yes my mother had one other sibling, gale. The reason we moved to this place was because my aunt had been reassured my mother was okay now and that she would look out for a house within the area. I could tell my aunt was happy to have her sister back, not just local but also sane. It was a true miracle my mother changed her ways and in a way I was admirable of her for it.
Unlike my mother, aunt gale is a fairly tall woman with short, brown hair. She wears glasses and a black suit when she's working, it's not so much different when she isn't. She's kind and used to be very strong in terms of emotions, but I could tell when we saw her she had changed slightly due to losing her sister for years.
The first day of school was terrifying. I walked to school as it wasn't too far away, Only a few blocks.
I stepped onto the lush, green grass which had been mowed, and then onto some stairs I had to climb to get into school. Above me hung a huge sign stating "Derry High School". I kept my head down and wondered to my first lesson, but I couldn't help but feel the eyes glaring at the back of my head as I got halfway down the hall. I looked back for about a second and noticed a group stood looking at me but I couldn't make out who and just carried on walking. When I found my lesson I was pretty late. I found it complicated to find my way around but I was exhausted so took my seat.
"Hey, hey get back here," the plump man in the corner said to me, gesturing to stand at the front. I positioned myself as instructed and took a glance around me at all the faces. Nobody in the class was sat similarly at all. In fact everybody was so different that i knew it wouldn't be hard to remember people's names or at least who they were.
"Well go on! What's your name?" He questioned me. I think he was trying to be nice, but him pointing a pencil at me was slightly threatening I must admit.
"My name's Julie. Julie Hail," I glared at him with one hand on my hip. I caught a glimpse of a boy watching me like someone might look at a potential employee at a job interview trying to work out whether they want to take them or not.
I saw a few girls chuckling but it didn't bother me so much. Girls were always judging me the most out of everybody and by now I'd gotten used to it. I squinted my eyes at them and soon they stopped, but they all seemed so angry and I could tell if I annoyed them any more they'd get me. They'd get me like they have done before. Because of girls like them I have scars that are impossible to remove.
"Julie hm? Any hobbies?" The man questioned me again. I was feeling queasy now and I hated the thought of being stood in front of such a large crowd.
"Hobbies? Yeah sure I got some hobbies. Not the usual kind though,". I noticed everyone was still now, desperate for gossip to spread. I could tell this was a mean school, one with those mean kind hanging around all over the place. "Hey, could I go to the bathroom?" I glared at the boy I saw earlier with the corner of my eye whilst waiting for an answer. He was still staring just as he was before.
"Usually I would say no. Definitely not. But you're new here and I doubt any of the students here will be very welcoming today," he paused and then gestured his head towards the door.
"Go ahead,".
I ran out the door and found my way to the bathroom straight away, slamming my bag on the floor. I knelt down and threw up the remainders of my breakfast in the toilet.
The taste in my mouth was bitter and sharp in my throat and I couldn't find the courage to get back up.
In front of strangers I seem to put on this act that I'm strong and I don't care at all. Like I'm bad and I know it. Like I think I'm better than everyone else. At least that's how I feel I come across, but inside it all just a cover for how I feel inside. Of course I'm not strong, my past could confirm that. I've never been confident, or in love with myself, or bad. I felt inside like I had to act this way at my new school to survive it. I wasn't going to leave this one. I wasn't going to give up without a fight. I was going to change. I'd been weak before this, isolated. Seeing people around this school I've realised to fit in I need to be pretty badass. Don't get me wrong I've seen a few real weak ones around. I've seen the way some of the bigger kids treat the others, it's terrible. As much as I hate it, I need to stay here. I can't face moving again, it was way too much work to become easy prey here in Derry and I could not give up no matter what the circumstances were.
I stayed in the bathroom for a good 10 minutes while I applied red lipstick and then smoothed up my black hair into a bun although small pieces were falling out, my hair wasn't quite long enough to get up tightly. I grabbed my bag and then re approached the classroom, I could see the teacher was busy reading and the kids in my class were all shouting and throwing paper. I kept my head down and returned to my seat.
I didn't know the instructions or the task we had to complete so just took notes from the awful handwriting on the chalk board in front of me, taking time as I did as I knew it would take me a very short time to get everything down. After 20 minutes the class had settled down and the plump man had returned to his teaching state.
"Okay close your books I think it's better we have a class discussion. You never actually work when I say book work," he mumbled.
I tried to concentrate on him, truly I did. The only thing stopping me was the slight tapping I felt on the back of my chair. It was clear the feeing was coming front the chair leg so I took a quick glance down at it to see the source of the occurrence. At first I noticed the black boot making precise taps onto the leg of the chair then I followed up the leg to find the boy I saw earlier once again. He stared, this time deeply into my eyes. His eyes wide, but he has a sly, menacing grin on his face now.
I must've been turned around for a while because when I twisted back to my original position everyone along with the teacher was glaring.
"Uh, I... sorry," I stuttered.
The man resumed his work until the bell went and everyone rushed out of the room. Everyone except me.
"Julie, may I have a word?" The man said.
"Sure, it's not like I've got anywhere to go,".
He smiled looking slightly sorry for me.
"I know moving school is hard, I had to myself as a kid. Throughout the year it'll seem like I'm one of those nagging old teachers that get on your nerves. The truth is I know this school isn't kind. Don't get me wrong there are a few good kids here, but stay away from the ones who seem bad. They will be,".
I didn't say anything but nodded and walked towards the door.
"Oh Julie?"
"Mm?"
"Good luck making friends today,".
I smiled, gesturing a small wave.
"Thanks sir, thanks,".
