"N&S: John Thornton, Love Lessons", by Gratiana Lovelace (2013-2014) (Done)

Ch. 68 (PG-13): Joy in the Morning

John:  John sleepily begins to waken, his eyes still half lidded. Then he partially rolls onto his side and looks at his pocket watch on the bedside table as he apologizes [(3) right].   "Sorry Margaret.  I should have helped you with the baby just now.  But I didn't hear her."  John is bleary eyed from getting up three times with Baby Audrey Grace last night while he let Margaret sleep.  John stands up from their bed  in his wrinkled night shirt--alternately scratching his head and his rump--then he walks toward the bathing chamber to freshen up and shave.

Margaret:  Margaret bemusedly grins suspiciously at her husband and shakes her head as he passes her.  "Do we need to have wax removed from your ears, John?  The baby's piercing cries could shatter fine crystal."

John:  Giving Margaret a quick kiss on her lips, John replies.  "I agree.  We shant let her near the dining room until she is past this stage.  How long will that be?"  He asks plaintively.

Margaret: "Oh, only 2 or three ... years."  She looks at him impishly.  "Ha ha ha!"  Margaret's heart is lighter when she is with baby Audrey Grace--in part, because  Margaret resolves to show the baby her happiness at being her mother.  Margaret does not want her sorrow in losing her parents to translate into the baby somehow thinking that she is the cause of the sorrow.

John: "Ha ha ha!"  John chuckles.  "Shall I hold her for you while you get dressed?"  He holds out his arms and Margaret places the baby within them.

Margaret: "I'm not getting dressed yet, but you may keep her calm for me before I feed her." 

John:   John nods. "My pleasure!"  He smiles warmly at his wife. Then he looks to their baby daughter.  "Are you Papa's little girl?" He asks in a deep sing songy voice. Baby Audrey Grace smiles, then she waves her her open fingered hands at him and John gives her one finger to hold, her tight grip being endlessly fascinating to John.

Whilst in the the bathing chamber, Margaret freshens up and changes her night gown to one that is easier to nurse in--with bow ties at each shoulder.  In the mirror, Margaret notices how pale she looks. She hasn't ventured out of doors much recently, even though the Summer months have been pleasant and not overwarm.  And now that they are in the waning days of August 1851--just after Audrey Grace's quiet two month birthday and church christening for close family and friends on August 21st--the weather will start to turn colder and wetter throughout the Autumn months. 

Margaret sighs deeply as she surveys her slightly plump tummy.  To anyone else--including John--Margaret looks trim and almost back to her pre-baby figure.  But Margaret knows that her gowns are still let out an inch or two--and that they will probably never be taken in again.  But, Margaret cannot delay the inevitable and she returns to their bed chamber with a burping cloth for after she nurses baby Audrey Grace.  Margaret slides into her side of the bed, sitting up against her pillows and placing one pillow on her lap to help support the baby as she nurses her at her breasts.

Margaret: Reaching for her baby, Margaret smiles warmly to John.  "I'll take her now and feed her."

John: "Of course, Margaret."  John gently places a calm baby Audrey Grace into Margaret's arms.    "I will give you your privacy."

Then John turns his body away from her to sit on the side of the bed and Margaret's face falls.  John always turns away from her when she nurses the baby if he is in the room.  She wonders if he finds her feeding the baby disgusting as some men do.  And they have not resumed their love life--even though Cameron privately assured her that she and John may make love and still prevent her from getting pregnant again--since baby Audrey Grace's birth was so difficult for Margaret.  The prevention aspect seems rather mysterious to Margaret, but it mostly falls upon John to do the prevention, somehow.  She was urged not to worry about it.  However, John has not even hinted at the possibility of them becoming passionate together again.  And Margaret worries that John no longer finds her desirable now that she is a mother.