If You Could Regret It

4

Thomas sat on his bed and watched James clean around the room silently. No words were exchanged between the two, it'd been like this all week.

They sat there for a few minutes more before Thomas flopped back onto the bed and sighed dramatically.

"Something the matter your highness?" James paused for a second to look at Thomas.

"Yes!" Thomas finally exclaimed as he sat up and looked at James. "You haven't spoken to me for a week! Why?"

"Thomas." James started.

"No, I don't want excuses, I want reasonable answers to this. Please."

"Thomas I just can't" James said, stepping back towards the door.

"Why not?!" Thoma stood and stepped closer to the retreating James.

"Because." James looked at his feet.

"You don't feel the same about me, thats okay but please don't change the friendship we've built."

"We shouldn't even have a friendship or anything close to that. I am a slave and I belong to you and your husband, we should have no relationship other than master and slave." James said as he stood straighter and looked into thomas's eyes.

"James, it doesn't matter, no one cares about what our relationship is. I enjoy you and I can't stand the thought of you being cold with me again."

"Well I can." James said and made a move to turn away but was stopped by Thomas grabbing his arm and pulling him closer.

"Please. What do I have to do for you?" Thomas asked as he looked at James.

"Just leave me be, I don't wish to be caught up in more trouble than I've already gotten myself into."

Thomas placed his hands to both sides of James' cheeks and leaned in closer to the smaller man.

"What are you scared of?"

It took a while for a response to fall from James' lips. They stood there just staring into eachothers eyes until he had finally found the strength to talk.

"Everything"

Thomas smiled.

"Care to be specific?"

"No."

It took a second before Thomas leaned in and connected his lips to James'. A smiled crossing his face as he did so.

James froze up for a second before closing his eyes and leaning into the kiss. They stayed like that for a while until James seemed to find his right mind and pushed Thomas away.

"I-I can't okay" James said harshly, refusing to look at Thomas' face.

"You don't feel the same, I-I get It, I'm sorry I did this." Thomas sighed before walking away from James and leaving the room.

He had no idea where to go and eventually found himself in the stables.

The air was cold enough to make his nose run and and he clung tightly to his coat as he smiled to the horse he'd been gifted with two years prior.

He had usually found himself talking about his burdens to the grey stallion. More so in earlier times than now. Lately he had James to talk to, but at the moment it was James he wished to talk about.

He was sure if the horse in front of him could express emotions to him, he'd be surprised that the person Thomas felt the need to rant about had not been Alexander.

Sure, things Alexander did bothered him, but he'd built up a barrier and found himself ignoring him rather easily.

His rant lasted for nearly several hours and the sun was beginning to set by the time Thomas stopped talking.

Yet the thought of returning to the castle and most likely arguing with Alexander-which had become the usual as of late, was not prefered. So he made himself comfortable on one of the benches in the barn and continued talking about nonsense until he drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

It was morning by the time Thomas had been awoken by a servant girl.
She'd been rather worried when she saw him laying on the bench but sighed in relief once he woke up.

"Your majesty, you're freezing! Please hurry back inside and have a warm bath drawn, it'd be such a shame for you to catch cold." She'd said as she hastily rushed him from the stables.

News that he hadn't slept with his husband last night had spread through the castle and was talked about shamelessly. Even the maids drawing his bath and bathing him cared not that they spoke of his potential broken marraige right in front of him.

It was rediculous and when he laid in bed waiting for Alexander that night, the other hadn't been in a forgiving mood.

They'd had quite an explosive argument that led to shouts that the maids wandering the halls or gaurds outside the door no doubt heard.

Thomas had been acused of an affair while Alex had been acused of neglec and being unreasonably harsh.

It was closer to a disaster than anything that'd happened in their marraige before and from that day, Alex stopped coming to bed with Thomas, worked more, and was more often found planning with the general and his other war friends than in the palace.

Thomas on the other hand had found himself in the stables and garden more often, he tried to talk to James but it had seemed the other didn't wish to resume their friendship.

He was more than sure that James had heard the rumors and he knew that James suspected him of an affair, and act that didn't involve James in it. The other probably saw him as nothing better than a liar and a cheating whore and it bothered him.

James made it his priority to avoid Thomas at all costs and Alexander seemed to do the same.

The winter months were spent alone and Thomas found himself stooping low enough to plead his husband and James for forgiveness of an act he never commited, but they seemed to just dismiss him.