The Price of Happiness

~8~

Darcy and Elizabeth slowly made their way along one of the many garden paths of Netherfield, Jane silently walking a few paces behind the pair.  Darcy, at a total loss for words, desperately tried to think of what to say.  During the tour of Netherfield, Elizabeth had been mostly silent, offering very little of her opinion on what she wanted changed.  She'd simply told the housekeeper that she was not fond of London fashion, nor the trend for lavish adornments.  This did please Darcy, but he had been hoping for more input from Elizabeth.  When they'd completed the tour of the house without any further suggestions from his betrothed about changing the décor, Darcy suggested a tour of the grounds.  Perhaps it would afford them some more privacy with which to discuss the many issues between them.  Now that they were touring the grounds, however, he could not think of a single thing to say.

Elizabeth, still feeling overwhelmed by her circumstances, but needing desperately to speak to Mr. Darcy about so much, finally broke the silence, coming to a stop and addressing her sister behind her. "Jane, Mr. Darcy and I have much to discuss, so I was hoping you might afford us some privacy to do so."

Jane looked as though she was about to protest, asshe didn't want to leave her sister unchaperoned, but, knowing that her sister and Mr. Darcy needed to talk,she reluctantly agreed. "I shall go admire the rose garden right over there.  Please do not go far.  If someone comes looking for us I must be close enough to return to your side quickly."

"We will stay right here, Miss Bennet," Darcy assured, just as eager as Elizabeth for some privacy so that they might finally speak frankly with one another.

When Jane was far enough away, Elizabeth began. "First, I must thank you for saving my family from ruin.  I'm not happy about our upcoming marriage or how it has come about, but I have accepted it.  The fact remains you saved my sisters and ensured they have a chance at happy futures, and for that I will be forever grateful."

Shamed, Mr. Darcy pleaded, "Elizabeth, please tell me what I can do to make amends for how I have forced your hand.  I cannot bear the thought of you miserable as my wife. I wish nothing more than to make you happy."

Looking into Mr. Darcy's eyes, Elizabeth asked bluntly, "Then why force me? If you love me so much, and I now believe you do, why do this?"

"Because it was the only way to have you!"

When Elizabeth's eyes narrowed, Mr. Darcy hurried on, speaking quickly.  "Elizabeth, you are all I can think about.  When I envision a life without you it breaks something inside of me.  When I considered you married to another man, having children and raising a family with another man, I nearly went mad.  You are everything I've ever wanted for myself.  You are smart, and witty, and kind, and so different from all those other harpies in the world(*cough* Caroline) that I couldn't help but love you, and when I heard of what your sister had done, and the situation she'd put your family in, I didn't think.  I just acted.  I saw a way to have you, to make you my wife and the mother of my children, and I took it."

"And what I wanted, how I felt, or more importantly did not feel, didn't matter?"

Truly shamed now, Darcy whispered, "Of course it did, but . . . "

"But what, Mr. Darcy? What can you possibly say to justify forcing me to marry you?"

"I suppose the fact that I love you means little?"

Finally softening a bit, Elizabeth replied, "No.  It does.  I—I am still not sure what to think or do about your devotion to me, but I can assure you that it makes me look towards our future with less trepidation.  Before your letter I thought you simply wanted to own me  I thought you couldn't stand the notion of being denied, but your words gave me hope."