Recovery / / h.s

Chapter Twenty-Two.

"It was Harry!" I shouted into the phone. Most of the people in the back seemed to snap their heads up in my direction and I could already feel heat creeping up to my cheeks. "You know what? Call me when you're done being such an ass." I furiously pressed the end button and literally threw my phone down onto my desk.

"You alright?" Harry wondered. I blew the air out of my mouth with a loud huff. How long had I been holding my breath?

"He's being ridiculous," I rolled my eyes. I was so angry. There was no way I could get any work done while I was so worked up.

Harry sighed, standing up from his desk and standing in front of me. My face was smashed to his chest as his arms wrapped around me. I tensed up, but quickly relaxed. I bunched the bottom of his t-shirt in my hands as he rested his chin on top of my head. Did he always smell this good?

"What happened?" I could feel his deep voice vibrate through his chest as he spoke. I buried my face deeper into his shirt, not wanting to face up to what had just happened. It happened so fast, I wasn't even know if I knew for sure what happened.

"Don't cry- oh fuck, Lillian, shh. It's okay, everything's going to be okay." Was I crying? I was too busy trying to understand what the hell was going on that I didn't even know that I was literally sobbing into Harry's shirt. Louis and I argued like this all the time and I had never cried before. What the hell?

He traced circles into my back, constantly whispering that everything would be okay. It was comforting. He had gotten much better at the whole comforting thing. He comforted me almost the exact same way now that he had after we barely escaped that party. This time, though, I knew he actually meant what he was saying.

"Everything I do is always just wrong," I sobbed. I was heaving and I could hardly get the words out.

"Shh," he murmured. He had started twisting the ends of my hair gently with one hand and the other hand was still running circles into my back. It was oddly comforting. I was so upset that I didn't even care who was around to see me bawl into Harry's chest. "Just tell me what happened."

I pulled away from him a bit, wiping my eyes that were now stinging and probably looked swollen and puffy. I placed my head back onto his chest, turning it to where my face was no longer buried into his chest. I was breathing in and out heavily.

"He doesn't have time for me anymore, Harry. He gets angry so fast and i just don't know what-" Oh God, I was crying again. I needed to get it together. Harry didn't say anything. Instead he pushed me away a bit and gripped my wrist lightly, dragging me towards the bathroom.

The door slammed behind him. He sat down on the toilet after closing the lid. He grabbed ahold of my arm, pulling me toward him until I was sitting on his lap. He wrapped his arm tightly around my waist and I began sobbing even harder into the crook of his neck.

"He's just an amazing guy and I think I'm in love with him," I choked out. I felt Harry tense underneath me and when I pulled away to look at his face he was staring at the wall.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be crying like this, I bet I look-"

"It's fine, you're fine," he interrupted me, tightening his grip around my waist when I tried to pull away from him.

We sat there quietly for awhile. I listened to the sound of his breaths as he rested his head on my shoulder. Every so often I would sniffle and he would look up at me for a moment until returning his focus back to the wall.

"You love him, huh?" He wondered quietly, his voice almost inaudible.

I pondered his question for a minute. Did I love Louis? I didn't know. We argued a lot and he drove me insane. However, every argument was filled with so much passion and I was drawn back to him within an hour. It was toxic. I couldn't seem to get enough of him, arguing or not.

"I don't know," I sighed. "I know what I feel for him is more than like, but I know it isn't quite love."

He nodded understandingly. "Have you ever been in love?" I asked him. My words reminded me of the night he had kissed me and I was forced to push the memory to the back of my brain. Harry was a great friend now.

"Yes," he answered. He had gone back to tracing the comforting circles on my upper back and he seemed to be absolutely captivated by how his fingers around.

The door handle jiggled loudly and I jumped out of Harry's lap. How long had we been in here?

"Guess it's time to go back to work," he laughed, awkwardly switching his weight from one leg to another.

I wrapped my arms around his neck for another hug. "Thank you for being such a great friend, Harry."

He looked at me for a minute, an unreadable expression covering his face.

"Uh, yeah. Anytime," he muttered. He shook his head quickly as if to snap himself out of his own thoughts before making his way back to his desk.