A Silent Heart

Chapter 5

I nodded, signing 'yes'.

"That means yes?"

I nodded again. He tried to do it as I signed it again for him.

'It's like nodding with your fist,' I wrote. 'That's how you can remember it.'

"Right," he said, repeating the sign again.

He was a quick learner. By the time our lunch hour approached its end, we had shared his dessert again, two mini lemon pies. He learned how to sign yes, no, thank you, please, sorry, and bullshit, because he just had to know a curse word, which ended up cracking him up because my face was red as I begrudgingly taught him how to sign it.

But I liked it the way he threw his head back and laughed. I found myself wishing I could hear the sound of his laughter. I liked to imagine his voice would be a deep one, with a hint of husk to it. A voice I would never get tired of listening to.

It was time for me to go when he took a small book from behind him and handed it to me. It was a book for learning Russian.

"You said you stopped learning because you didn't have time, you can read the book on your way to work. It's yours."

I looked with wide eyes between him and the book, then smiled widely and signed 'thank you.' 

He smiled back at me before frowning. "How do you say you're welcome?"

I chuckled silently as I wrote. 'There isn't an actual sign for 'you're welcome' that is used when responding to someone thanking you. Usually, you just sign 'thank you' back to the person, or maybe sign 'it's no problem' or 'it's fine'.'

He nodded, and after teaching him how to sign 'it's fine', I thanked him again then left for my work, holding to the book close to my heart.

For a long time, I didn't have much time to go to the library and get a book.

I wondered how I could pay him back. Sure, he had said not to worry about it and insisted that it was payment for teaching him ASL, but still. Teaching him how to sign was actually as much for my benefit as it was for his, if not more.

I walked with a spring in my step to the stairs. I was excited because of the new book. I had forgotten how much I enjoyed learning, but I was also excited because tomorrow was Saturday, and I would finally get to sleep late.

Yay!

Well, not so much when I had to go out looking for another job for the weekends...

I still had some unpaid bills for this month. Since I monthly put a good sum of my earnings into a college fund for Jim, the meager amount that was left barely covered our needs.

Still, I allowed myself to sleep until nine o'clock, which was plenty for me. I hoped today would be a good one. I had struggled with finding a weekend part time job for quite some time now. All the ones available usually involved waitering, which was out of the question for me. And even when there was something I was confident I could do, the employers always looked at me skeptically after I told them about my deafness, I had no idea how many times I had heard, or rather read, 'just leave us your number and we'll call you back'.

I never bothered to correct them and tell them that they couldn't call me because, well, because I was deaf. I knew the look in their eyes that said "Why should I bother hiring her?"

I didn't blame them. Why bother with me when there were probably plenty of people who wanted the job and who could communicate easily.

After pulling on a long-sleeved black shirt and jeans, I threw on a cardigan, slid on my sneakers and walked out of the door. Despite the cold, it was rather sunny outside. Perfect weather for people who had planned a weekend out. I took the subway to a much busier place than my shabby neighbourhood.