IDGAF.

16.

Harmony.

I sat in my Uncle K.C's house staring at my phone with Maya's name on it. I missed my best friend and it was one week since we last talked because if the incident that happened.

Literally the only person I had to talk to was my Uncle K.C who happily let me stay in his house as long as I promised to come home in the morning like my dad told me to.

"You aight? Its like your looking off into space..what's going on?" My Uncle K.C asked me when he came out his room from just waking up.

"Nothing."

"Yeah it is. Is it because of the stuff that went down yesterday? Tell your unc unc."

"Okay never say Unc Unc..your not talking to a seven year old I'm practically a grown woman."

"Please. You are not grown in my eyes. Your still a little girl." He said coming to sit next to me on the couch. "Now tell me what's wrong."

"Well..it's just that I really really miss my best friend we got into a really heated argument like a week or two ago and she put me out her car. I said some mean things but so did she, but I just miss her. I want my friend back."

"If that's your real friend you two will be able to talk it out."

"I know but I'm just scared..what if she doesn't want to be my friend anymore? I can't lose Kai and my best friend but sometimes my mouth just gets out of hand."

"Why does your mouth get of hand? And like I said before if she a real friend y'all will make up."

I sighed heavily looking up at the ceiling. "I'm just a bad person. How come I can't get over my past? I'm still hurt and angry at all those men who did those things to me. I guess I take my anger out on others who are trying to help me because they don't understand what that feeling was like."

"You are not a bad person..maybe it's time to tell them the truth. The people that love you deserve to know what you been through so they can understand you better and they will understand why you act the way you do..and stop pushing away counselors and people away who are certified to help you. I think the first step to accepting what happened to you and getting rid of your anger is speaking it..getting it all off your chest let the people you are close to know..and not turning them away."

"Its so hard to tell someone that. Kai gets everything she wants, and never really went through anything and the same thing with Mya. I feel like if I try to explain to them it'll be like trying to explain chemistry to a first grader."

"Harmony you need to stop looking at everyone else's life like it's perfect. Everyone goes through shit and the minute you realize you are not alone you will be able to handle it better."

My chest started to burn and I could feel myself about to cry. Not today Harmony..not today.. don't show him your weak.

He reached over and wrapped his arms around me, and I broke down into tears sobbing into his arms. "Im sorry."

"Just let it all out Unc Unc got you. It's okay to cry."

I buried my face in his shirt because I didnt want him to see my tears. I was holding them in for so long and it felt good to release them.

"Tell them what happened to you. I promise they are not your enemies and they will love you for being honest. You need to heal..it's the only way. Let them know what it felt like."

I sobbed in his arms like a little baby, and didn't let up until there was not one wet drip on my face.

I knocked on Mya's door waving off to Uncle K.C before he drove off. He convinced me to talk to Mya but I was not ready and my words didnt even form when I tried to say them out loud.