Chapter Fifty Eight

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As far as Aubrey could tell, her father, Jasper Jackson, had spent the Wizarding War pissing around and picking fights over things that didn't really matter. Still, he did hold one story which held valuable knowledge: His experience with the Imperius curse, one of the unforgivables that had become just a little more forgivable during the war. He'd seen it cast many times but more importantly, he'd lived it. For two and a half weeks, Jasper had fought for the Deatheaters against his will in what he described as an experience 'more surreal than taking the strongest LSD money could buy'. 

According to him, it was bizarrely calm, as if all the negativity had been washed away and replaced by true peace of mind, leaving only a dull, prolonged happiness behind. Whilst he'd floated in this strange bubble of serenity, somebody else made his decisions in the form of gentle suggestions, offered in such an appealing way it would be rude to say no. But at the back of his mind, a small niggling sense of doubt had taken form, slowly intensifying as the suggestions became increasingly brutal, forcing him to kill and maim. It was Aceline, his first and now ex-wife who had broken him out of it, repeatedly stunning him until Rabastan Lestrange lost control but even if she hadn't, Jasper claimed he'd get there eventually because of one thing:

Awareness.

Slowly, he'd become aware of his actions, the voice, his conscience some would call it, became louder and he'd slowly gained the power to fight back, starting to resist even before his wife got to him.

At the time, young Aubrey had laughed, simply saying, "Making all your decisions for you ... like Mum, you mean?"

Jasper had simply smiled, glad that Mary Jackson, a woman as strong as her equally unruly haired daughter had been out that day, "No, not quite like that but hopefully, you'll never really see what I mean. Because the only way to truly understand is to live it."

Well, her father's worst fears had come true, because Aubrey finally understood the feeling, the same curse that affected her father had come back to haunt her too. On the plus side, at least she wasn't didn't know it yet, just like her father had said the curse had made her a little ... out of it.

She was vaguely aware of her surroundings but it was more akin to seeing a film, as if she were watching from afar as opposed to living it. Things that would usually have an impact, had no effect whatsoever like Lee spilling hot cheese sauce onto her lap. The only time she would react was when Moody's soft voice echoed through her empty mind, telling her it was okay to be emotional, it was okay to laugh at Lee for clumsiness.

Awareness was the key, apparently, but no voice had appeared to question it just yet, there was simply acceptance. Luckily, there was something else that could awaken a controlled mind, something her father hadn't known about:

A really, awful cracking headache ... and luckily Aubrey was about to get a hell of a lot of those, a fun little side effect to switching back. 

The first headache came one morning as she'd washed the cheese off her stained trousers, shattering through her mind so hard that she staggered backwards. With it, the headache had brought a brief second of the miraculous awareness too. Suddenly, she could move her hands, clutching them to her face and gripping the red hair tightly in her fists. The pain was worse this time though, emanating out from her skull and radiating through every cell in her body.

Memories came flooding back to her, as she breathed the name, "Fred.." before Mad-Eye wrestled her autonomy away and she was under his control once more.

The second came in Charms, making her jump from her chair and hit Roger in the face with her parchment. As she'd stood, she'd suddenly become acutely aware of the date on the board. The room had fallen dead silent as she'd whispered:

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