The Outcast

Chapter 29: R u mine?

Chapter 29: R u mine?

“A photograph is the expression of an impression. If the beautiful were not in us, how would we ever recognize it?” –Ernst Haas

River Quinn

I toss and turn in bed and glance at the clock sitting on my night table. 2:30 am and I still can’t seem to get some shut eye. Damn. The image of Will shirtless and Nirvana standing behind him flashes before my eyes. Again. It’s imprinted in my mind. No wonder I can’t sleep. I’m restless because I can’t stop thinking about her, or him. Or should I say them. The more rational part of my brain tells me I’m being stupid. Nirvana would never hurt me like that. But then why the hell was he there shirtless? How much more evidence do I need? The facts are pretty obvious. I would have to be a moron not to realize now. It seems that either way things turn out I’m an idiot.

 I should’ve known from the beginning. He liked her way before I came to town and who knows maybe she probably liked him too. That could be one of the reasons why she wanted to keep us a secret, especially from him. The puzzle pieces were starting to fit together but there were still missing pieces. There were still unanswered questions. Like for example why would she agree to be mine if she had feelings for someone else? It makes no sense. If I keep pondering possibilities I’m sure I’ll start going crazy.

I need a distraction and fast. Something to help me forget.

Alcohol? Nah I can’t stand the taste or the hangovers the day after. I know the healthiest thing to do would be to talk to someone about this. But who would listen to me? I’ve got zero friends here and I’m pissed at my mom. The only person I trusted enough to open up to is the reason why I’m upset now so I guess I’m pretty much stuck.

Maybe I should go out and take some pictures to distract my mind. But where would I go at 2:30 in the morning?

Screw it, I think as I push the covers away and get out of bed. I’m wearing Batman pajama pants and some random band T-shirt and I don’t plan on changing. I simply slip on a pair of the first shoes I spot, grab my Polaroid and I’m out the door. No cellphone and no money. Who would call at 2am? I’m not planning on going shopping either. Keys. I do need that though. Where are they?

When I get downstairs I see some random keys on the kitchen counter and decide to grab them. I don’t know who they belong to but Henry did say that what was his was ours and vice versa. I’m pretty sure he was speaking specifically to my mom when he said that but I’m part of the family now too. I notice there are car keys attached to the keychain. Sweet.

I open the door and step out into the chilly night air. Henry’s car is parked outside which is very convenient for me since these are his pair of keys. I walk over to the car and squint at the two figures that are laying on top of the car bonnet. Robbers? As I get closer I catch the familiar scent of something strong and sweet…weed?

My question is answered when I spot who exactly are chilling on top of the car. It’s Tara and Nate, Nirvana’s cousin, who are indeed smoking joints. What the hell? This is like the second time I’ve caught them smoking together. Is Tara a druggie? I start to wonder. They both turn to face me in surprise.

“River, hey dude,” Tara greets with a dazed look on her face. I think it’s the first time I haven’t seen her with an either calculating or evil look in her eyes. She seems completely relaxed and happy as if she has zero problems. I start to envy her blissfully oblivious state.

“Hey you’re Annie’s friend,” Nate says as if it’s the greatest discovery since Columbus discovered America. I ignore him.

“Tara what are you doing out here so late?”