Becoming Beautiful (Wattys2014)

| Chapter 23 |

“Ah, nothing,” I muttered as I stared at the bleachers below me. What do I talk about? Why does it have to be so awkward? I shouldn’t have kissed him. But then again, I’d rather feel awkward because we actually kissed instead of things being awkward because we almost kissed. At least I got a kiss. I finished my bagel and wiped my hands on a napkin, trying to think of something to talk about.

“So…how’s the weather?” I asked him.

Glancing at me again, he shrugged. “It’s nice, I guess, same as yesterday.”

Like a war veteran, flashbacks began flowing through my head and my ears began to heat up along with the rest of my face. I quickly squeezed my hands into fists, digging my nails into my palms as I tried to calm the blood flow. The thoughts of kissing him wouldn’t go away so I tried to avert my contemplations. “Those are nice shoelaces!” I blurted.

“Thanks, I got them with the shoes,” he told me as he put the camera back in its case.

“Yeah, that usually happens,” I muttered, mentally stabbing myself in the face. We were silent as we watched people start to enter the gymnasium. “So are we going to talk about it or what?” I asked. My eyes widened as I considered jumping off the bleacher and leaving the school.

“What’s there really to talk about?” he asked. “You kissed me. I kissed you back. It’s not like it hasn’t happened before.”

“It’s happened one other time,” I replied.

“You’re right,” he nodded, “It did.”

“Yeah…but this time was different. I-I didn’t just peck your lips,” I muttered as I curled my hands together.

“I’m aware. I was there, you know,” he told me. It was silent and he sighed. “Unless you have something to say, and it seems like you don’t, then there isn’t anything to talk about.”

Just tell him. Do it. Just say it. As I opened my mouth, the gym teacher blew the whistle and everyone began approaching him, ready to start the class. Letting out a huff of breath, I did the same.

+++

I didn’t have the guts to tell him in American Literature, nor did I have the guts to tell him during lunch. In fact, I sat down across from Marissa with a frown on my face. “I hate having a crush.”

“What happened?” she asked me as she put mayonnaise on her sandwich.

Letting out a huff of breath, I opened my drink. “Well, like an idiot, I brought it up.”

“The kiss?” she asked and I nodded. “Speaking of the kiss, I have a few questions.”

I quirked an eyebrow as if telling her to continue and she did without hesitation. “Did you use tongue?” My face began to burn as I buried it in my hands. “Oh my gosh, you did! Is he a good kisser?”

"He's your brother!" I snapped immediately.

"You guys did!" she laughed loudly.

I sat back in my seat and pulled my knees to my chest, groaning loudly. Marissa began laughing at full volume as I glared at her above my knees. “You’re an evil person. I hate you.”

She stopped laughing and leaned forward on the table, the grin on her face mischievous. “Did your tongues to do the tango?”

"You're his sister," I told her. "You don't ask those types of questions."

"I'm only teasing you," she smirked at me.

I groaned again and hid my face again, listening to Marissa’s mocking laughter. “Shut up. Can I confide in you about my problems or not?”