Empty Bones • Wolfstar

0.8

Remus cleaned up the leftover pizza and sat quietly in their small library. All he could think about was the look on Sirius' face when his hurtful words settled in.  How could I be so mean? All he ever did was be nice to me and i treated him so bad.

He picked up his journal from the desk in the corner and pulled out his favorite pen. He opened it to the next clean page and began writing.

September 5th    12:23am

I hurt Sirius today...all because I can't control my temper.
Seeing Dora today made me feel afraid.
Now he'll be afraid of me.
I only added to all of the shit he's been through.
I've started eating better since I met sirius. I'm comfortable with him.
But today I couldn't bring myself to do it.
I don't deserve it.
I'm a monster. Some sort of beast.
Now whatever we had is ruined.
He could never love me now.
But I might love him...

Remus shut the small journal and held it tight to his chest. A few tears fell from his eyes as he pictured the image of Sirius. He was so broken, so afraid. He pulled out his phone and opened his messages between him and Sirius. His fingers hovered over the keyboard.

He locked his screen and placed his phone and journal on the floor next to him. He curled up into a ball and letting sleep take over him.

•••

It was the next morning. Lily and James were in the kitchen cooking breakfast. Peter stumbled upon the library and found Remus on the floor. He approached the taller boy slowly. He reached down to remus' shoulder and shook him slightly. Remus sprung up fully awake.

"Woah, good morning. What are you doing on the floor?" Peter asked.

Remus rubbed his eyes and shrugged. He got up slowly and stretched. Peter took that as his cue to leave the room. Remus shuffled to his room closing the door behind him. He got changed and made his way to the bathroom.

When he was done he was met with the smell of bacon. Remus felt sick. He gagged and rushed back into the bathroom. He hunched over the toilet and what little was in his stomach was now gone. Lily came rushing into the bathroom.

"Are you alright?" She placed her small hand on his back. Remus nodded and got up to brush his teeth again. "Have you eaten anything?" he sighed and Lily stopped questioning him. The two of them made their way into the kitchen where James and Peter were eating their meal.

Lily poured Remus some coffee and handed it to him with a slice of toast. He took a sip of the coffee before retrieving his bag from his room.

"I'm gonna head out." He mumbled.

"Where are you going? We can go with if you'd like." questioned Lily.

"I was going to go walk around by the lake, you can join if you want." the three others nodded in agreement. Lily left to her room to get changed and the boys cleaned up.

"We're gonna head to our place and get changed. I think Sirius might still be asleep." Peter explained. Remus nodded and opened the door for them. "Do you want to come with us?"

"I don't think that's a good idea. If he wakes up and sees me, he might react badly." Remus said softly. Peter nodded and made his way into the apartment with James.

It only took them a few minutes to get ready. They all met in the hallway.

"How is he?" Lily asked.

"He's still asleep. My mom left earlier this morning, I  assume he asked her to stay with him." James said as he locked their door. The 4 of them made their was to Peter's car.

The day was filled with small conversations and adventure but all Remus could think about was his Sirius. Lily made them all go to some art store to get more paint and James insisted on taking photos of the group. Most were of Remus laughing at Peter who knocked something down in almost every isle. Lily wanted her own photoshoot so they decided to walk around town.

They went to a few tourist spots so James could get nice pictures. The sun was starting to set and it looked beautiful. They all decided to go somewhere to eat. James picked out some sandwich shop and they all agreed.

Their meal was full of laughter and smiles. Everyone's spirits had been lifted that they almost forgot about Sirius. Peter ordered him a sandwich to go and they all headed back to the car.

When they got to the building they noticed Sirius' motorcycle was gone. Panic rushed through all of them. James made them all wait by the car while he went up to the apartment to check for Sirius. After a few minutes James came jogging back out and shook his head.

"Let me drive." Remus got in front of Peter. "I think I know where he might be." Peter hesitated but handed Remus the keys. They all got in, Lily sitting in the passenger seat to comfort Remus. He pulled out of the garage as fast as he could. The car was silent. The silence was interrupted by James' phone ringing. He answered quickly.

"Hello?"