Self harm and suicidal thoughts

#22

I'm sorry if I seem clingy
It's only because I've been hurt before
I've been beat down and broken
And I'm scared of it happening again
I've loved and I've lost
So many great people in my life
I've been cheated and abused
And everything is alright
I'd walk through hell and back for you
Even if you don't deserve it
Because I'm bad at finding the right one
The one who won't treat me like shit
So please be nice
I've been through so much
And I don't know how to say no
I've been hurt so many times
That I've gotten used to the pain
Sometimes I even enjoy it
Because it feels so much like love
It is the only love that I can get from some people
So I mistake hurt for love
Pain for pleasure
And anger for passion
I know I do it
And I try not to
But it's hard to stop
When pain is all you've ever known
So please be kind
I have given you all of me
I've given you my heart
My deepest secrets
And my pride
Please don't ruin it
Like everyone else did
I gave it to you because I trust you
But I also trusted them
They betrayed me
Please don't do the same
I love you more than words express
You are my whole world and I can't see my life without you in it