Oh, You Go Sailing

tired

I long to be inside your head
Sort through everything there
I just want to know if I should give up
I'm tired.
I've tried to read your mind
Since we were kids
I think I make you feel good
You pretend not to know how I feel
So I'll tell you again and again
Your face feigns concern
Like you've never heard it before
I'm tired.
Then you go and shoot daggers
Into my bleeding heart
I've tried to patch it since we've been apart
You post and ask
Where your special someone is
I don't think you deserve one.
I waited for you to come after me
Just once
As I had done for you many times
Time passed like nothing
And you liked my pictures
And dated around.
I'm tired.
Even if this Love was meant to be
I can't get back what you've taken from me
I've wasted years, so much time
But I just don't know who I'd be
If this war wasn't a part of me
I'm always looking for your grace
Approval from your smiling face
It makes me sick that I still do this to myself.
I'm tired.
People tell me to know my worth
And I do
I've never wanted anything more than you
I'm not a quitter and I can't give up
I want to.
I'm tired.
But every time I think I'm right
My heart calls to you in the night
And though you'll never be with me
I'll always, always want you to be.