UNWANTED BUTTERFLIES | VKOOK

9

Jimin wants to ask him if he's okay but doesn't. Instead he asks, "What does this have to do with anything?"

"I mean..., nothing....just that, I mean, it's not the first time they've brought it up," he shrugs and the gesture seems so forced and fake that Jimin feels sorry for him. He's a nervous mess but he can't understand why. Last time Yoongi got this worked up he was asking Jimin to be his boyfriend.

"Go on," he says as softly as he can muster, trying hard to meet the older's eyes but failing when the other is so intensely staring at the floor.

"But like I started thinking...is it, really, that... crazy?" The words slip from his lips carefully, his tongue almost afraid of curling around the syllables too fast. 

"You haven't even given me a peck on the lips for a week and now you're literally asking me to marry you in the least romantic way possible?" Jimin asks, not being sure if he should laugh or keep on screaming at his boyfriend because what the actual fuck?

Yoongi's mouth opens like a fish. He puts his glasses off, setting them on the counter. "Wow, okay, yeah. I'm such a jerk...I just needed some time to think about this, you know?" he sighs, heavy and deep. He then looks up at Jimin and with conviction says, "But I think we're ready."

Jimin is too busy freaking out as realization sinks in, barely registering the last words his boyfriend says.

"Oh, wait up," Jimin raises a hand, palm facing Yoongi as he regards him with his eyes. "You needed time to think, as in like a break ? And you didn't tell me?"

"I didn't need a break, just time to think...alone," the older explains but even he knows how he must sound right now.

"It sure as fuck sounds like a break," Jimin replies through gritted teeth. "And who knows how long you would've gone without talking to me if I hadn't said anything!? What's wrong with you?"

"Well, that's a question not even my folks have the answer to, and they raised me so---okay, got it, no time for jokes," he clears his throat after Jimin sends him the sharpest daggers through his eyes. He swears he can feel them piercing his skin. "Look, I'm sorry, I didn't manage the situation well---"

"You didn't manage the situation well? You literally---god, Yoongi, seriously!" he is the one shaking his head now, exasperated as Yoongi stares at the floor, ashamed like a little kid who just got caught. "People talk about these things. Marriage, needing time to think...these aren't choices you make by yourself. We're in this together, remember?"

"I know, you're right, you're completely right and I'm an idiot. But I love you, Jimin. Let's get married," he keeps insisting, eyes bright and hands refraining from reaching out. He puts them inside his pockets because he doesn't trust himself enough.

"Yoongi, I can't----we can't. I love you too but...." Jimin looks down, bites on his full lower lip, tries to think of a way for Yoongi to understand how they're so not ready.

"Isn't that enough ?" the older asks, eyebrows furrowed in confusion and irritation. He can't understand how Jimin doesn't see how ready they are.

"No, it's not. We're so young, I'm twenty-one and, and you haven't even turned twenty-three! Also, isn't this proof enough that we're not ready for such a commitment? You needed a break to think about this. A break from me ," he explains or rather tries to because Yoongi is still staring at him like he's seen a ghost. When did it become so hard to understand each other?

"So what, this is all my fault?" Yoongi asks then, eyes narrowed and mouth wincing.

"No, of course not. It says a lot about me as well that you don't feel comfortable enough to talk about these things. We're not there yet, I guess," he shrugs with one shoulder, smiles a sad smile at his boyfriend but Yoongi is having none of it.