Cooking

1

"I don't see why we have to cook," Bea complained.

"We're the oldest, I guess," said Jacques, clearing the markers and paper from Alasie's colouring extravaganza.

"Mani and North are also our age. Possibly Brit. But we get stuck with making food for like 23 people."

Tara shrugged. "Well, someone has to do it."

"Yeah, I get that, but why us?"

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"Halli, put up your hair."

"Why?"

"Halli, put up your hair."

"No. Fuck you."

"Halli, please put up your hair."

"Fine," Halli said, accepting the green hair tie from Beatrice. "But you know my hair's gonna come out of the tie anyways."

"Then you'll put your hair back up."

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"I am going to make the spiciest chicken known to man. Do we have any chicken stock?" Jacques asked, turning on the precision cooker.

Halli opened a cupboard. "We have so much chicken stock it's ridiculous."

"How much do we have?" asked Tara, slightly amused.

"Enough to last us till the apocalypse, at least."

Bea skipped over to the stovetop, holding-

"Beatrice Rosalie Tilley-Williams. Is that a Live Lobster. What the fuck."

"One won't be enough. I'll need more after."

Halli glanced over. "Are you cooking twenty-three lobsters? Do you need help? I am the lobster queen, after all."

"Yes. I'll need help.

Jacques looked at them like they were crazy. "Do we all really need a lobster each?"

"Of course! These are small lobsters." Beatrice glanced at Jacques.

Halli put down the carrot she had been peeling and went to get more lobsters.

Tara banged her head on the wall and wished she had a normal family.

"Do we have any Dave's Insanity Sauce?"

"Shut up, Frenchie."

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"Are you seriously only putting that much hot sauce in?"

"You don't understand, Onnie. This is super hot hot sauce." Jacques responded.

"Don't call me Onnie. Also, I'm sure it's fine. Nova, can I have a carrot?"

Halli handed her a carrot slice. "Is Onnie going to be one of your nicknames now?"

"No. Just no."

Tara dipped the carrot slice in the hot sauce, ignored Bea's muttering about why the hell is she putting hot sauce on a carrot of all things, and put in her mouth.

Only to immediately regret it. She spat it out into the trash, and grabbed another carrot slice.
"My mouth is fucking burning!"

Jacques smirked. "Told you."