The Player

1-Losers

"You guys are such losers," said Jonah, in a mocking tone, "Losers! Losers! Losers!"

Jonah, an overweight seventeen-year-old with brown hair in a blue t-shirt which had a classic Super Mario logo on it, talked in a voice imitating the way the jocks and model looking cheerleaders spoke about him in school. Tim, his best friend since fourth grade, a bit thinner, but better looking with black rimmed glasses and a t-shirt which read "BLAST ME AWAY BABY!" stood there, looking Jonah up and down.

"Dude", he said in a more serious voice, "You know, we would gladly trade in our comic con tickets for a chance for a date..."

"What?!" said Jonah, "and give up our chance at being future millionaires who don't show up at the big class reunion. Screw that. We will show them. We will be video game millionaires, either as professional tournament players or as runners of a video game company. Our geekdom will pay off. You just wait and see..."

They continued to speak when Jonah's sister, Hayley, only a year younger than Jonah, entered the door. Tim had to stop and stare. She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Big brown eyes, long brunette hair, and a slender frame. If Jonah was a commercial for pimple cream, she was the cover of Teen Vogue.

"God," he said, "your sister dude..."

"I thought we've been over this," said Tim, grabbing the video game system remote and passing the other one to  Tim, "She is out of your league. She got all the good genes of the family. It's quite ironic, to be honest. I have no idea what happened. It was like God skipped me to be blessed, and gave it all to my younger sister..."

"Do you find your sister hot, dude?"

"Not hot," said Jonah, "but annoying....dude, she's my sister. We share DNA if nothing else. If she was a professional model, I would still find her ugly. Dude, the rule is you find your parents, your brother, and sister, your whatever not attractive. DNA turns off all attraction to everyone related to you. Blood is stronger than hormones, my man..."

He flipped on the game system, and the logo for "CALL OF DUTY" hit up the screen. 

"Now," said Jonah "shut up and play..."

Tim sighed and started to shoot up some zombie nazis. BANG! BANG! BANG! The virtual gun pointed at the deformed figures in army uniforms with the Nazi logo on her arms. Then it happened. Tim paused the pause button.

He was actually thinking about his life, and that was the curse of a video game player or any other type of person who loves something. It doesn't mean anything when you actually think about the real world.

"But," said Tim, pausing the game much to Jonah's annoyance, "if we were to get together..."

Jonah got annoyed again, "Look, I would love for you to marry my sister. Then we could play together forever. You know what a relief it would be to have a fellow nerd in our family? Not to mention my best friend? Great. Yes, the thought of you and my sister makes me want to puke, but I would have someone to talk to at holidays and everything else, dude."

"Pinky swear?"

"Pinky swear..."

"Are we in fourth grade again?"

"Sure seems it..."

"Not before I punch you in the mouth, let's play this...."

Once again, they had entered the fictional war against Nazi Zombies. The television made banging and shooting noises until...

Pause...

"Dude," said Jonah, now really annoyed.

"If I was the last man on earth..."

"My sister becomes a lesbian," said Jonah annoyed once again.

"Just checking..." said Tim, "by the way, did you get the weed for Friday? Sneaking out to the old barn. We haven't had a joint in like forever. Last time we did, we played the old Sonic The Hedgehog game high. That was something."

"You bet," said Jonah, "I got it from the guy behind the library. Books, movies, and weed. The three things the library is still good for, right, but only the weed costs, money. Right? That's the library for ya..." 

That much was true.