Falling Into Sunday

15- I Am Going Crazy

“That’s a fine compromise,” He nods. “I thought that’d be a lot harder.”

“Well, I don’t think that I need therapy. I am totally fine, you know, but I’m a good daughter and if you think that it’ll help then I’ll do it and it’ll just prove you wrong,” I explain with an innocent smile. “When do you have to go to work?”

“I still have a few hours until they need me at the office,” He explains.

“Let’s go to a movie,” I suggest. “We need some father daughter time because you’re always working and I’m always out but you’re free and I’m free.”

“Okay,” He agrees with a laugh.

“That new Captain America movie is out,” My mom adds as if she’s invited but I’d rather cut out my eyeballs than actually go anywhere with that troll if I don’t have to.

I look at her and try to be as polite as I can since my dad is right here too but it’s kind of hard because I just hate her so much. “Father. Daughter.” I say, pointing from my dad to me and then I leave going into the garage before she can snap at me for being rude or something like she did the other night.

“I wish you two would get along,” My dad tells me, meeting me at his car.

“Hey, I’m going to the crazy house but I will not get along with her. I’m sorry, Daddy, but just no,” I shake my head at him.

“You two used to be close, didn’t you?” He wonders with a sad sigh as if my bad relationship with my mother makes him sad. That sucks, but reconciling with my mother isn’t something that I can do even if it upsets my dad.

I shrug, remembering the time in my life when I absolutely loved my mother like most daughters do but then in one night- on that night- everything changed as quickly as everything changed when Eli did what he did. “I guess so. She did have a point about that Captain America movie, I’ll give her that.”

◊◊◊◊◊

“He thinks that I’m just a big bag of crazy,” I rant five hours later as I sitting on the edge of Benson’s bed.

“Well, I mean, you did totally freak out on a jug of milk yesterday,” He reminds me sheepishly.

“Yeah, but I had my reasons. And I was sleep deprived. Everybody goes insane when they’ve only had half an hour of sleep,” I defend my actions.

“Maybe the therapist will like, help you get over whatever it is that’s keeping you from sleeping though,” He offers me. “And you seem like you could use any help that you can get.”

“You help me sleep,” I say softly, wrapping my arms around his waist. “I don’t need anything else to help me sleep.”

“It’s not me, it’s sex that you need to sleep, and you have to admit that that’s not the most mentally healthy thing to do,” He corrects me. “I don’t know, Venice, I just think that it might help. I know that you want me to take your side but it’ll be good for you, I think.”

“I don’t have any deep dark secrets,” I deny with a shake of my head but we both know that that’s a terrible lie. “So I won’t have anything to tell a freaking therapist.”

“You don’t have any dark secrets?” He echoes incredulously. “Venice, you are like, the most dark, secretive person I know. You are also the most traumatized person that I know.”

“Okay,” I sigh. “Fine, I just… I feel so crazy but I’m just not, you know? I just… I don’t know. I’m not crazy, Benson.”

“I know that you’re not crazy,” Benson assures me. “You just have a lot inside of your head is all.”