Gita Savitri Devi

Being A Woman on Social Media

Setelah mulai dapet banyak attention dari netizen overall it's a nice feeling I must say. Karena lewat media gue bisa dapet feedback super positif dan encouraging yang biasanya dikirim orang-orang entah lewat comment section di blog ini, lewat direct message di Instagram, atau juga lewat comment section di YouTube. Believe it or not I read each and every comment I got whether it's positive or borderline hating because I love getting feedback as it helps me a lot to grow as a person. Dan gue juga seneng banget kalo sedikit banyak bisa ngasih inspirasi (seperti yang banyak orang bilang although gue nggak pernah merasa ngasih apa-apa). But that's not what I want to talk about. Let's talk about being a woman on social media.

Menjadi wanita di tengah-tengah hiruk pikuk sosial media itu susahnya minta ampun. At some point you will realize that you don't get enough respect you should have had, not just as a woman but as a human being. Terutama respek dari lawan jenis. Gue tau kalo di sosial media itu it's all about how you look. Entah itu netizen perempuan ataupun lelaki, yang pertama mereka lihat ketika ketemu suatu akun entah di platform apapun adalah muka. Bening apa nggak, kece atau nggak. Kalau lo jelek ya they won't care about you in the first place. Kalau (menurut mereka) lo cakep they will be interested in you and at some point maybe they will say something about your appearance. That's the first problem I have with our culture. Why does our society put looks on top of everything? Why do we care so much about appearance? Kenapa banyak orang bisa seenaknya seakan-akan dia juri Miss Universe yang lagi menilai fisik seseorang? "Ah, mukanya jelek." atau "Yaa lumayan sih tapi jidatnya gede banget.". Lo pasti sering kan denger percakapan kayak gitu atau bahkan terkadang juga berada di percakapan itu? Lo lagi ngepoin orang di sosmed bareng temen lo. Terus lo berdua nge-scanning mukanya, gayanya, semuanya lo scanning dari atas sampe bawah. And that leads to what's have been around this past hundred years: cewek-cewek yang "atraktif" mendapatkan perhatian dan privilege lebih banyak dibanding cewek yang "less attractive". I'm asking you guys, what's with your unhealthy obsession with looks? Dan kenapa harus cewek?? Mungkin beberapa dari lo berpikir, "Git, you sound like a hypocrite. Lo foto-foto di sosial media. Lo promote something yang berhubungan dekat dengan penampilan.". Let me tell you this, I'd still do product placement or whatever I am doing now even though I didn't look like this. Because you know what? I don't give a tiniest s**t about how I look. I don't think I'm ugly nor do I think I'm pretty. I just don't give a damn.

The other thing is guys. I often have problem with how they treat me whether it's on Instagram or YouTube (not all of them obviously). Karena gue sering kali dapet komen yang membuat gue tidak nyaman, membuat gue risih, dan membuat gue merasa tidak dihargai. Let me ask you this, kalo ada cowok yang lo nggak kenal tiba-tiba komen "I love you" di foto lo, "Lo cantik banget deh. Mau jadi cewek gue nggak?", "Jangan cakep-cakep nanti gue sayang.", atau komen-komen disgusting lainnya, how does it make you feel? Mungkin beberapa wanita yang memang senang dapet perhatian dari lawan jenis suka suka aja diginiin, pun nggak suka mungkin mereka nggak akan serisih gue. But not for me. I don't care apakah itu hanyalah bercanda atau apapun karena gue merasa ada banyak hal yang bisa lo lihat dari orang lain selain muka. Pun lo merasa dia cakep atau attractive or whatever, gue tidak merasa ngomen hal-hal inappropriate itu necessary. Because she is a stranger to you and what do you do to a stranger? Do whatever is appropriate. I don't know about you guys, but I believe there is boundary in everything. You cannot do whatever you wanna do. Lo nggak bisa bercanda seperti lo biasa bercanda receh sama temen-temen lo di warkop. There-has-to-be-a-boundary.

Sering kali gue berpikir di mana salahnya. Well, mungkin salah gue dan memang itu resiko yang harus gue terima karena gue harusnya tau mendapat feedback apapun, entah itu relevan atau tidak, harusnya gue telan. Because I decided to get out there and "expose" myself on social media. I should have known. But I still think I deserve a bit of their respect. Karena pertama, gue pake kerudung dan harusnya kalo lo liat cewek pake kerudung lo bisa lah ya sedikit jaga lisan lo. Kedua, gue punya cowok. Okay, I know having a boyfriend is just having a boyfriend. It doesn't really matter because it's not like having a real husband (that's another reason why I kind of wanna get married quickly. Because I would feel more safe at least). But still, bayangin apa coba yang cowo gue rasain kalo liat ceweknya disekilin cowok-cowok nggak jelas di internet? Gue aja merasa disgusted, apa lagi doi? Tapi somehow gue sangat yakin kalo cowok-cowok itu nggak kepikiran sejauh itu.

So what do we have to do now, ladies? Apakah lantas wanita nggak boleh putting herself out there and be the center of attention? Nggak boleh being herself? Nggak boleh diliat oleh orang lain? I don't know. Mungkin memang lebih baik wanita diam di rumah, pake cadar, nggak usah bersuara, sebelum semua cowok ngerti gimana caranya memandang wanita nggak dari mukanya, tapi dari hati dan isi otaknya. Don't get me wrong, banyak cowok yang memperlakukan wanita dengan sopan tapi banyak juga yang nggak (I need to say this before you guys accuse me of generalizing).

Does my view on this matter make me look like an annoying feminist? No. I don't like putting fancy label on myself. I believe world would be a better place if we can start to respect each other. Asking men to respect women, asking them to view us more than just how we look, asking them to stop seeing us as an object and asking them to stop thinking that they can flirt on us HOWEVER and WHENEVER they want to doesn't make me a feminist. It makes me look like a person who actually uses her f-ing common sense.

So now gentlemen, can you do that? Can you respect us?