Mr. Possessive [Undergoing Edits!]

•~•CHAPTER 40•~•

"Sage please," he sighs, turning to look at me. "Let's not do this again."

"No let's! Go on and tell me again how it's all my fault. How, because of me, your son is dead! Tell me how much you hate me! Tell me again, Mason, since that's all you can ever be honest about anymore! Tell me again how you wish you had rejected me when you had the chance!" I can't control the crushing feeling in my chest or the water quickly filling my eyes as I recall our worst fights from the past months.

"Is that what you want, Sage?" He matches my loud volume, our voices filling the small space of the hallway. "You want to hear how I blame you for the death? Cause I do! I blame you Sage because you made the choice to leave my safety! I blame you because you couldn't protect him after you gave yourself over to Satan's spawn! I blame Faith and Carver because they went out and Faith got caught. She gave you something to fight for when fighting was the last thing you should have been doing! I blame Conner because he was the devil's fucking spawn! I blame myself because I trusted you. I blame myself because I fell for you! I blame myself because I didn't watch you like a hawk when I knew you wouldn't be able to fight your instincts to leave Faith! I blame myself because I couldn't protect you! I blame a lot of people Sage! I blame everyone and everything! I blame the fucking world for taking my son from me! Okay, Sage? It's not just you! But I can't just leave my pack because I hate everyone and everything! I have a job here and so do you! So if hating you with everything in me is the only way I can get through my job, I will do that. I have a responsibility a their alpha. I have a duty to my pack and I will follow through with my oath as an alpha," he finishes, breathing heavily from his loud and angry rant. His face is contorted in rage but mine is too.

"You have a duty to me!" I scream, reaching my breaking point. I have taken all his hurtful words, all his grieve and anger. I have taken everything he's thrown at me with almost no rebuttal because I figured he'd eventually grow like I have been trying to. I figured he'd be able to move past the trauma and realize his mistake of blaming me... but it's deeper than that, isn't it? It's not that he blames me because he's momentarily hurt, he blames me because he thinks I'm just some easy dismissal. He sees me as below the pack...his mate is below his job. He's casting me away because he's a coward. "I'm your mate, Mason! Your fucking mate! Can't you understand the depth of that? Don't you get that I am your one and only chance at love? We are bound together! Forever Mason! You chose to accept me and you can't take that back! I am your forever! Not the fucking pack! Me!" I scream, becoming more hysterical with each passing word.

His eyes can't meet mine, my truth hitting him hard.

"You can't... I mean, we can't just pretend that we aren't made for each other...that we aren't having a baby..together."

"You left me, Sage. You left. I didn't want this for us, Sage. I wanted everything to be perfect for you." His eyes finally come up to meet mine, and finally there's more than hatred and anger burning in them. "I love you Sage... but you abandoned your duties. You abandoned the pack. You abandoned me. We all needed to come together to fight and yet you left. I don't know if I can trust you Sage... and what's the point of being in love with you if I can't trust you?"

"Just give me a chance Mason... you won't even try to forgive me. How can you ever trust me again if you can't even really talk to me?"

"What do you expect me to do Sage? Pretend that none of it happened and just kiss you like nothings changed?" He moves into my space, cupping my cheek and tilting my lips up towards him. My breath catches in my throat at the proximity. I can hardly remember the last time he held me this close. "Everything's changed, Sage. Everything."

"We don't have to let that continue to be a bad thing." He looks unconvinced, but the apprehension is reasonable given our circumstances. "We're having a baby girl, Mason," I smile up at him, leaning into his palm, "and we can let our experiences make us grow stronger. We don't have to let this destroy us..."

"I think...I think there's just too much damage, Sage," he sighs, dropping his hand and stepping away from me.

"Just- just try Mason. Please try..." I follow his backwards movement with forward motion until I'm in his space. I grab his hand and gently rest it on my tummy where I can feel our daughter kicking. "For us? Please.." His eyes follow his hand and he smiles softly as her rhythm picks up in response to his touch. 

His eyes drift back to mine slowly, his eyes glistening slightly. When our eyes lock, he gives me a small nod of acceptance and it's like coming up for fresh air.

I sigh audibly as he leerily grabs my hand to lead me to the doctor's office. We're definitely late for our appointment but I don't care. I just need my family to be whole again. Whatever it takes.

For now I will except this awkward hand holding... but soon he will be mine again.

After all...we still have external wars to fight..and I was promised a forever.