Love's Labor's Won

Out of My League

Just be friends. Those words floated around my head all day as I finished a paper I had to write, only stopping to run out and get some food. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was the right thing to do. It would stop all of this tension and confusion. It might even give Lex the freedom to not be on edge and defensive all the time. And as much as she said she didn't have a boyfriend, I know there is, or maybe was something going on with her and that Marcus guy. He seemed really possessive of her in the parking lot, whether or not rightfully so wasn't really the issue, it must be creating its own conflict in Lex's head. And as much as I would love to make her forget all about that guy, that would just complicate things more. So I couldn't hit on her, but I also knew I couldn't ignore her either. So settling on just being friends with her really was the only option. I couldn't help but wonder what happened to me. I normally wouldn't have an issue making efforts to get what I wanted, but all of a sudden I cared about all of these little things. Maybe I only cared about them because she seemed to? But see? Too confusing. And I didn't want her unless she knew that she also wanted me. 

I sighed, and picked up my phone and texted her.
H: So this is like not normally my thing, but I think it'd be best if we stick to being friends for now. 

I followed that up with, 

H: But as soon as you realize you want me, I'll be here. All you have to do is say the words ;)

I waited as I saw the dots indicating that she was typing her response, stop and start up again.
L: Okay.
I sighed, and tossed my phone next to me. What was I supposed to do with that? Nothing, I guess. Running my hands through my hair, I went back to my essay, not quite able to get over what could have been.

***

The next morning, I texted Sam, deciding it was time to move on for good. I drove to the practice field, grabbing my balls and stick out of the backseat. "Someone is whipped," I heard Sam say from behind me. We'd been talking on the way here, and I found myself bringing up Lex in hopes to ease my subconscious confusion, while continuing to leave her name out of it. 

"Shut up," I grumbled, irritated.

"I hate to break it to you, but shooting goals is not gonna erase this mysterious girl from existence."

My back was to him, but I rolled my eyes at his comment. He would change his approach real quick once he heard who it was. "Sam—"

"I mean, I get the idea, it makes sense, I just don't think—"

"Sam!" I turned back around, my stick leaning on the ground as I faced him.

"Yeah?"

"It's Lex. The 'mysterious girl' is Lex."

Try as he may, Sam couldn't hold back his laughter. He finally erupted, laughing until he was out of breath. I ignored him, scooping up the first ball as we reached the field. "Dude," he called to me. "You are aware that she's totally out of your league, right?"

"Yeah, I know," I grumbled.

"Like you guys aren't even in the same universe."

"I get it, okay?" I snapped. "I guess a part of me knew it from the start that it wouldn't work, but I mean, she's perfect, how could I not try?" I turned quickly, sending a ball sailing into the net. 

"You barely know her. She might not be as perfect as you might think," Sam warned.

I rolled my eyes. "Please. I'm sure she's nothing I can't handle." And another ball shot towards the goal. 

"Even if she is, you aren't exactly perfect either," Sam's voice carried across the field.

Scoffing, I release another ball, and it sailed into the net. My lack of response essentially ended the conversation, but the annoyance with Sam's response lingered through the rest of the goal work. Maybe he was right, and I was fantasizing about this girl that I didn't really know, one who I would clash with too much and end up hurting. But that was the point of being friends, right? To get to know her, while keeping enough of a distance? I just needed to commit to sticking to that label. I got increasingly more aggressive and accurate as the day wore on, and I knew I was slowly working Lex out of my system.