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Things Dessy has definitely said

"Ovens can be weapons"

"Hey, when I was Amelie's age, I was chasing badgers. Spiders are pretty tame compared to those."

"Okay but a scythe gets the job done better than a knife"

"Haven't you heard? Extremely messy hair is trending right now."

"As the kids say these days, that's pretty dope."

"I'm fine the stairs just tried to assassinate me again"

"I'm the queen of falling off things."

"Stress baking is a safe habit. Except when everyone starts getting fat."

"I hid the sugar cookies in the ceiling. No one'll think to look there."

"Ares, no offense but that was really freaking stupid"

"What, you don't wear your sunglasses upside down?"

"Hey, Everett, please come get your wife, she crawled into the spice cabinet and refuses to leave"

"Okay, but what if spiders could fly"

"Why aren't winged sheep a thing yet"

"So you're telling me tinfoil doesn't work against aliens?"

"I don't trust four leaf clovers. Not since the incident"

"Storebought spaghetti sauce is a fake, processed gimmick"

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