Awakening The Forgotten

Chapter 3 - "You have got to be god damn kidding me!"

Cassandra returned home more than a little out of breath, as her quick walk had eventually turned into a run, the images she had seen had begun taking their toll on her sanity. She was having second thoughts about skipping her medication. Cassandra slammed the door to her apartment shut with a resounding thud, and rushed to the balcony throwing the glass door open with such a force she was momentarily surprised, albeit grateful, that it had not shattered. She stood at the edge of her balcony, hands gripping the white rust bitten railing so tightly her knuckles were white. She took an unmeasurable amount of deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself to no avail. Her ritual was not working as it had earlier. The shock had worn off and panic began choking her like an ever tightening vice.

It had been years since she had, had waking visions such as the one's she had had today. The occasional dream crept into her subconscious.

Everyone has weird dreams thou, right? She thought, in a dismal attempt at rationalisation.

But the waking visions had stopped when she had started taking medication. Memories of a scared and alone 7 year old little girl crept back in to her mind. She did not fight them as she did every other time. Her mind was so focussed on forgetting what she had seen today that she had no strength left to stop them as they assaulted her. Sliding slowly to the ground, she remembered her childhood. A childhood no child should ever be subjected to.

***

"But Mum you don't understand! The girl in my dream IS me. She looks just like me, she talks like me. She's real! I just know it!" Cassandra shouted at her mother. By age 7, she held a large enough vocabulary to start really questioning her dreams. Why me? How have I lived two lives? Which one is real? The biggest question she would ask herself was why no one believed her?

Ever since Cassandra could recall she had had dreams, dreams of herself. A different self. A version of herself from another time. When she was 5 in her current life she was 5 in her dream life. When she was 6 in her current life, she was 6 in her dream life. The dreams grew with her. She did not understand nor could she explain exactly what they meant, or why she had them. But she knew that they were real, that was the only thing she were ever truly sure of.

"Would you stop this Cassandra?! I have had enough of your stories! They are only dreams, do you hear me? They are make believe. Not real! We all have dreams, of fantastical and strange things, but they are not real child, they are figments of our imagination. Now I beg of you to stop this talk. You sound like a mad girl!" Cassandra's mother chastised harshly.

The words "mad girl" sliced through the 7 year old like a knife. Her mother knew that, that was what the other children called her at school. She had made the trusting mistake of telling them about her dreams. Dreams that she was from a different time or at least that she used to be. The kids had been cruel, they laughed at her, they bullied her and not one would be friends with her. A prickle of pain started in her eyes, telling her that tears were coming. She fought them valliantly, but they won.

Crying she asked her mother why she didn't believe her. She told her mother that the mother she had in her dreams would believe her. Cassandra told her that her dream mother was nice and caring and always believed whatever her she said.

Infuriated, scared and hurt. Her mother had lashed out.

"Well maybe the girl you are in your dreams is a good girl! Maybe she doesn't lie, maybe she respects her mother, maybe she doesn't think her dreams are real, maybe she isn't stupid like you."

Cassandra was speechless, her mother had just called her stupid. Just like the kids at school. She had never felt more alone, she ran to her room. She threw herself on her bed and cried. She cried until no more tears would fall. When sleep finally found her she dreamt again, she dreamt of the other life.