Undecided (A Christian Wattpad Series)

Chapter 1: The First Step

Growing up in the Catholic Church, Isabel Gibbs, also known as 'Isa', unlike other children was always fascinated when the priest spoke, instead of running around wildly and throwing tantrums in the middle of Sunday masses. She has had all the members of her church amazed at her sense of stillness and her attentive ways whenever the priest's homily commenced.

Her family is one of the most humble, God-fearing families you will ever encounter. Now, this doesn't mean that they were always problem-free, and had no troubles at all. They indeed had a lot of struggles, some, we cannot even imagine going through, but their trust in God and their love for Him is what kept them going.

When the Gibbs family were often times questioned, "How can you remain so quiet, so humble and act as if nothing has happened when you went through the world of problems?", their answer always stayed the same, "The joy of the Lord is my strength," they would so proudly reply.

Isabel and her parents would always come together in the night time, after a long day's work, to thank God for the many blessings in which He has bestowed on them. The gift of life and family, always being the first two. Each of them took turns in saying at least five things in which they were thankful for, along with their own personal prayer, followed by saying the rosary.

On occasions, Isa wondered why her personal prayers never worked out for her in middle school. Unfortunately, her worst childhood memories originate from her middle school experience. Older girls in her class would constantly torment her because of her faith and how deep she was in it and how serious she was about it.

They would make fun of how she wore a crucifix and held onto it tightly during different courses of the day and she'd hold it tighter when saying school prayers. She was also picked on because of the clothes she was told to wear by her mother.

The kid's modern day style was too 'revealing' to the mother, and her mother was raised with the mindset of when you dress like a lady; appropriate and elegant, you will attract people of respect and who are mannerly.

Isabel's dress code could've been verbally and entirely explained by those who saw her and knew her, for the way her mother dressed her was consistent. The dress or skirt must be at least 5 inches below her knees, ballet flats were her footwear, no cleavage whatsoever and thin strap shirt or vests were a no-no going out.

In middle school, the other kids wore the exact opposite of what Isa wore. Her mother often times thought to herself "Do their parents know what they're children are wearing when they leave the house?"

Like any other human being would've felt, Isa felt different from everyone else. It was the kind of difference that made you WANT to fit in with the crowd. It was the kind of difference when every time she got teased about it, all she could've done was cry because she knew, there was no way her mother would've let her be like the rest of children.

Multiple nights, she would cry to her parents about how the difference between her and the other kids her age makes her feel like she doesn't belong anywhere. Isa would go on and on about all the things other girls were getting to do that she couldn't have, and how much more liked and welcomed she would've been if she was just allowed to be like them.

Her parents, being her only support system, gave her the same piece of advice with the same quote, each and every time. "You were not born to stand in my love, you were born to stand out. The world would be such a boring place if everyone were the exact same or if persons tried to be like others. And always remember Isa, you can never influence the world, by being just like it". But unfortunately, their pep talk didn't work so well for Isa at the age of 14.

It was lunch at school, and instead of going out on the benches where she would normally go to eat, she decided to stay in class to eat and read her favorite book which was 'I Decide What I Become' by Dexter Roger Emrit which was given to her by her aunt. Throughout the bullying in which she endured, that book and her parents were the only two things which were keeping her sane and also gave her hope that everything will sooner or later be okay.