Our Love Is Torture

Chapter 37 *Last* - Forever

I grabbed his hands from my waist and pulled them away and took a step back. What hurt the most that he let me pull away.

"You left me Rohan! Not just once, not just twice but three times! Without even telling me! And you also walked away numerous times too! When I told you, I loved you, you didn't give me a answer, which you know what? It's fine, I respected that, but whenever I needed you, you were never there. And I always was, I gave you so many second chances and yeah! Your freaking right, cause you blew it away!" My voice rose at everyword I spoke, I gained courage to look into his eyes and all I saw was guilt and hurt and so much fucking pain.

"I'm better now Aisha... Trust me-"

"Trust you? That's the last thing on my list--"

"Let me fucking talk!" He shouted, taking a step forward with open arms, but I take one back immediately, rejecting him to come near me.

"I need you okay! I want you now."

I shaked my head, "Yeah but I don't. I don't wanna get hurt again!"

"You're the one who taught me that. If you're hurting, you don't have to stay hurting. I'll take your hurt from you. I'll take it all from you. I'd go through all the torture again if it meant getting to see you just one last fucking time. I'm a selfish fucking man and when it comes to you I'm the most selfish man of them all, because I want you regardless of the fact that I'm no good for you..."

"I don't..." I started, but stopped when I realised I had no clue to what I was going to say.

Rohan's eyes spoke volumes of how he was feeling. Sad, but determined, rimmed in red, wide open and clear. "And if this is all coming to an end before it even has a chance of beginning again then there's no fucking risk in telling you what I have to tell you now. What I have to say to you before it fucking swallows me with regret."

I shook my head, both fearing and anticipating to what was coming next. But nothing could've prepared me for those three little words that trampled over me, feeling like being stepped over.

"I love you."

I shook my head again, not to disagree but to shake the words from my brain. Words he couldn't have really said. They had to be. Either way, my heart couldn't take much more. With those three little words that held so much power I felt them reach down my throat into my chest and start snipping away at the fraying threads stitch by stitch.

"No, no you can't just love me." I heard myself choke out. The rain of tears have started, leaving me completely ghostly numb. "You just think you do..." I rationalised.

"Fuck that," he said, anger lacing through his words, his eyebrows pointed inward causing lines on his forehead to appear. "You think I decided NOW that I loved you?"

"Well maybe you don't..." I whispered, covering my face with my hands, choking on a sob.

"No wait, stop!" He reached over and uncovered my face. Letting go of my hands, he placed his on the sides of neck, cupping it. Making me look at him. Which was so goddman loving. Fuck.

"I love you because I fucking love you. I've loved since way back before I fucked it all up. I thought if I pretended to be happy that I'd be happy but it took months of sitting in the dirt being tortured every single fucking day to realise that the real torture was not telling you how I felt since the very first day."

"You..." I started but got cut off by him.

"I ranted and railed about love at first sight, because the concept is fucking ridiculous to me. But the very first day I saw you, it happened. You landed in my arms and ruined me without saying a fucking word."