never ; b blake

chapter 7

When Atom began mumbling things, I forced myself to gulp and lean my ear towards his face.

"Kill me. Kill me."

I know Bellamy heard it, too.

Others joined us as Bellamy stood up, but I was too focused on the dying boy in front of me to look up.

"Don't be afraid," I heard the little girl say.

"Go back to camp," Bellamy instructed the boys behind. "Charlotte, you too."

Bellamy then kneeled in front of him once again, the opposite side I was on. I looked up at him and the knife in his hand. Bellamy couldn't do it. I knew that by every time he played with the knife, I saw pain in his eyes, like he was a kid again, scared to do what he had to do.

I can't watch this.

"I-I'm sorry," I said, standing up abruptly and causing his head to look at me. "I... can't."

Bellamy nodded in understanding and looked back at Atom. "Go back to camp."

Seeing Bellamy in that position made my heart throb.

Seeing the selfish dick I had grown accustomed to become someone with a heart; it was pretty weird for me.

That was the first time I actually did what I was told.

—

I stayed in the dropship until everyone claimed that the group was back. I got to my feet and walked out of the dropship, just in time to see Bellamy gripping Murphy's jacket and yelling in his face, "My what? My what?!"

My eyebrows furrowed as I took a step closer to them.

Murphy said with the littlest sincerity in his voice, "Carson... and your little sister." Then, he pushed Bellamy off of him.

"Yeah, that's right," Bellamy seethed. "Carson, and my little sister. Got anything else you wanna say about her?"

Murphy eventually said, barely holding his tongue, "Nothing. Sorry."

Murphy will forever be the biggest son of a bitch anywhere.

After backing up and clenching his jaw many times, Bellamy instructed to some boys to get Atoms body out of there.

I almost ran after Bellamy, but decided against it. Instead, I went in the dropship. When I went up the hatch, the usual group was up there, Clarke and Octavia trying to get water into Jaspers mouth.

"I guess we'll have to get used to people dying down here, aren't we?" I heard Octavia say.

I felt my stomach swirl in sadness.

"But not you," Octavia said to Jasper, looking down at him in her lap. "You hear me? You're not allowed to die."

I sat next to them and looked up at Octavia as Clarke stood up and walked away.

"How is he?" I asked her.

She smiled at me. "Good."

A little while later, Octavia, Monty, Finn and I sat against the wall, passing around a bottle of moonshine.

I lifted it up and smiled. "This will officially be my first sip of moonshine ever," I laughed.

Octavia hummed. "I'm sure you'll love it."

I took a large swing of it, immediately coughing it up and wincing at the burning sensation in my throat. "Holy shit," I said, handing it to Octavia, who snickered. "I've had enough."

Octavia then drank out of the flask, her face scrunching up as she said, "Disgusting. I love it," then passing it to Finn.

Right before he could drink from it, we heard a croaky voice say, "Can I, uh, get a hit of that?"

We all clamored to our feet and a grin broke out on my face as I sat next to the boy. Finn said, "Let's start with the soft stuff," and slowly held the water to his mouth. "Welcome back, buddy."

Monty clasped their hands together as I bent down and kissed Jaspers cheek. He smiled at me and I gripped his other hand.

"Was that a dream, or did I get speared?" Jasper joked.

I laughed and rolled my eyes.

Clarke came up from behind us and sat next to him. "You'll have a very impressive scar to prove it."

"My savior!" Jasper croaked, making me laugh.

"Thank you for not dying," Clarke told him slowly, only half joking.

"None of us could've dealt with that," I whispered.

"Well, I'll try to not die again tomorrow, if that's cool."

As soon as he said hello to Octavia, he was out again.