I'm Better Off (BxB)

Chapter One

"Grayson?" I ask hesitantly, stepping closer to my brother's bunk. I clutch the new bottle of antidepressants and pull the doona back. The mornings are the worst. Nathan wakes up to beer bottles strewn across the floor, an aroma of smoke in the air and the sick feeling that Grayson may have killed himself sometime in the night. Grayson's moves his head and opens his eyes. "Hey. Here you go," I say handing two pills to Grayson. He takes them, as well as the glass of water. I'm surprised he doesn't fight me like he normally would. I roll Grayson back into bed and walk out of the room. He was good today.

I grab my bag and wander into the stern, dark alleyway out to the street all in the while keeping my distance from the Vixen Brothers. In my neighbourhood, known as The Crossroads, you can hurt yourself in a variety of ways; wild dogs, one of the immaculate, drug dealing gangs, the fucking police or the Vixen Brothers, perhaps the worst of them all. Our neighbourhood is like a visual representation of Grand Theft Auto 5, except no one cares about us. According to society all of us are dangerous criminals that have low self-esteem and don't give a shit about anyone other than ourselves. What a great fucking world to live in. I swivel to the left narrowly missing a truck passing by. The so-called 'road' looks as if it has been chewed up and spit out, gravel spewed over the ground and potholes every two meters or so. The Crossroads is always cloudy. It sets a depressing mood for the neighbourhood, maybe that's where all this started; A bad day with bad weather. Then that bad day turned into a bad week and the weather stayed this sorrowful, gloomy cloudy day and so on. My scratched-up sneakers grind against the road as I speed walk to school. The days I can attend school, I walk twenty miles east of the Crossroads and into the town centre. I wear what anyone would wear, however, my clothes are clearly worn out and in need of repairing. I don't believe in the classic uniform a supposed depressed kid would wear, black hoodies and dark jeans, hands always in their pockets. It's supposed to hide them from the crowd, but if anything it attracts people. Soon enough you have a preppy girl with a lot of feelings attempting to understand your situation. That is something that I really don't need. I turn right edging closer to another version of hell, however, at least this one is easier to bear.

"Nathan!" I hear the young boy's voice and turn around with a smile. James Housten is probably the only person to make me smile and one of the main reasons I haven't slit my wrists yet. The little boy runs up as I say,

"Hey, James. How are you going today?"

James smiles, "I'm good. Mumma' made too much breakfast and was wondering if you wanted to come in and have some."

James is eleven, living in the somewhat advantaged streets. His hazel eyes are covered by blonde hair and his skin is almost a peach colour, however, he often almost achieves a tan during the warmer months. I have never met his parents apart from the occasional waves and nods whenever I passed their street. For all they knew, I was just a sixteen-year-old boy that taught their son how to play soccer. I ruffle James's hair and kindly decline. James frowns but says a quick goodbye, slipping a biscuit wrapped in Cling Wrap beforehand. I smile and unfold the sweet and eat it slowly, savouring the taste. I leave half in the wrap, planning on giving it to Grayson when I get back. Maybe, just maybe, if I bring home something rare -for them at least- Grayson might eat it. He might eat something.

The bell rings signalling students to move into the one small hallway. I look at the 'Vote for Annie' posters as long as the occasional 'Are you OK' posters. Those really tick Nathan off. Of course, he isn't 'ok' but if he told anyone what would they be able to do? Even worse, what would do with Grayson? Nathan had thought about seeking help in order to get Grayson into Rehab but that wouldn't work. As long as being suicidal, Grayson was also a drama queen with anxiety. He was medicated for a year till he started to become depressed. They had barely enough money to support the anxiety pills let alone antidepressants. Nathan chose what was most important at the time... like any other decision, Nathan has made in his sixteen phenomenal years of life. He decided to fight his mum, he decided to care for Grayson, he decided he wasn't good enough but he still had to fight this. In some way, Nathan believed that things would get better, and if not for him then for someone else. It was his job to try to make Grayson ok again. It was his job to teach James everything he needed to know about teenage living... even if he didn't understand half of it himself. If Nathan couldn't have a life for himself then he would simply have it for someone else's benefit.

Stepping into the science lab, Nathan slips off his backpack and sits next to Holly, the worst lab partner you could find. I scowl as she reapplies her berry blossom lip gloss and turn to Mr Xander, our biology teacher.

"All right everyone, let's start by testing if _____ and _____ can create a chemical reaction called a _____," He says. I start pouring the chemicals together as Holly whispers to Mani, the other worst biology partner. I shake my head and finish my work.

(A/N: I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT TO PUT THERE SO LET'S JUST IMAGINE THERE IS SOMETHING THERE. K? COOL.)

By the time class ends I have an ever-growing headache and a deep hatred for the girls in my class. It's as if they never shut up. What could they possibly be talking about for a whole fifty-minute lesson? However, the boys were just as bad at times. Nathan sighs and throws his bag into his locker. Lunch is for thirty minutes so he has twenty-five minutes to run home and back. Grayson was not to be left alone for over five hours. Nathan runs home, the burning sensation at the back of his legs and the short, ragged breaths he exhales calm him. Running is by far the best peacemaker.

I get back, offer the biscuit to Grayson which he takes (thank God) and run out the door back to school. I slow to a walk as I near the Vixen Brothers' house. I smell the smoke before I even hear the screams. Looking behind my shoulder I see rows of motorbikes and bald, stubby men holding guns to the brothers. One of the three Vixens, a masculine, tanned boy with black hair turns his head and makes eye contact with me. I smirk and snap my head around, looking back to the road ahead. I keep walking, contemplating turning around and helping. I contemplate this the whole time as I reach the crossing to East Town State School. It's not a generously funded school but it's a school nonetheless. The way he looked at me was weird. In a way, it seemed like he was trying to scare me or something. I rub my temples and come to the conclusion that I was being paranoid. Fastening my pace, I walk up the steps and back into the school's entry.