My Father's Beta

Biscuit Head

I frowned down at her. "You know for an old woman you really -" At that she sat to attention almost glaring as hard at me as she was Jim a few minutes ago.

Arching her silver eyebrows at me Grams crossed her arms over her chest. "I know my own Grandbaby didn't just call me old".

"Sorry -"

"Blah blah blah blah blah, tell me this so called news". She urged trying to feign boredness.

I don't know why but it was hard to get it out of my mouth again. I mean I've come to terms with it and everything and I'm happy, there's just still this burried need in me to please and not disappoint people; what if Gram's thinks it's too soon? Or that that I'm not ready? Getting over myself I sucked it up.

"I'm pregnant".

Grams' mouth fell open. "You what"?

"I'm -"

"I heard you the first time Sweetie haha! Oh this is wonderful, do you know if it's a boy or girl yet"? She smiled, bouncing in the couch and switching her eyes down to my stomach every now and then.

I shook my head with a little smile. "No, next week" I murmured in gentle happiness.

"Bring me a picture back won't you"? I giggled a little knowing it was a question but also knowing it was more of a demand.

"Course".

My head tilted in confusion at Grmas' next expression and I didn't understand why until I realised that she looked worried, very worried. "And how are you feeling"? She asked me concerned.

"Good" I assured, I actually put a hand on top of hers, she just looked like she needed the extra assurance, felt like it too, I could feel her fear trickling through my veins.

"Are you sure? Because it really wasn't very long ago that you were sitting here with me and crying your heart out". I was starting to understand her worry now but there's no need to feel so frightened about it, what did she think I'd do, runaway?

"I know but, I'm... actually I'm really good, serene". I nodded at her completely honest about how I was feeling and ever since the Doctor told me that it was a sure thing I've just felt at peace with the world and my place in it, there was no longer a need or a doubt to question anything, everything was good.

It seemed no matter how honest I was something I'd said had freaked her even more. "Sweetie that's what I want to talk to you about". She took my hands in hers and squeezed them tight, looking at me with that same agonising pain in her eyes and just because I said that I'm doing good.

My voice shook, corrupted with her fear. "What do you mean"? Reflexively my arm curled around my stomach protectively.

She basically ignored me. "Have you spoken to the Doctor yet"? Grams asked seriously.

"Uh huh, yeah". She nodded slowly, cryptic. "Why"?

"You'll understand soon honey, but I'm going to give you something, a gift, it's been passed down by the women in our family for generations".

"Oh, ok". For passing a gift onto me I thought she'd be happier or something, sure emotional but not quaking in fright - she may be able to look all calm and collected but I know what's going on beneath that, I can feel it whether she forgot I could or not.

"Wait here alright"? I nodded lamely, snuggling back as far into the couch as I could to hide away from what I was feeling.

When Grams came back she was carrying an ornate wooden box in her hands. I could tell it was hand carved because Grandpa used to carve things out of wood all the time when I was little, flowers, animals, bird houses and stuff - I still have a tiny little rocking horse that I can hold in the palm of my hand. The box was made of a dark wood, it had been varnished perfectly and had small ocean blue sapphires imbedded into it between the carved vines like glittering flowers.