Out Of Sight (BoyxBoy)

[5] C U N T

Nolans pov

I hate it.

I hate it so much.

That I can't talk to anyone about this. About my heart beating out of my chest. About my thoughts going on and on about James.

My mind constantly replaying the image of his flawless face and his curly hair.

I can't fucking talk to anyone about this.

No one!

All of my friends they- they suck. No, they don't suck. They are just extremely bigoted and homophobic and...they only care about themselves-

Yeah they suck.

But they're all I have. Except my dad and my sister. My dad works a lot and my sister goes to elementary school, she can't really do much.

But... My friends--they have been there for me for everything. They're all I have. And I've had them around since I was 5. Well, Dacre has been around since then. Tom and Chris came around in high school...but that's not the point.

I could never talk to them about...crushes. Because there was no way in hell I was going to tell any of them that I am gay.

So I did a thing I would probably regret later. Not regret, but feel very stupid about.

I texted Jamie.

"Jamie? I don't really have anyone I can tell this right now so you have to be it- I can't stop thinking about James. Ok. It's out. That was it. He's so pretty. Good night."

Fuck.

But I didn't get a text back.

I got a call from her. Fuck me! My hands started to sweat and shake.

"Hello?" I asked shyly. "I'm sorry I-"

"You're cute." It was James!

"James!" I lightly shouted into the microphone. More as a realisation for myself. "Hey!"

"You better be free tomorrow at 1pm." He giggled. Fuck he was already driving me insane. I get so happy just hearing his voice.

I wanted to see him tonight again though.

"I can't tonight." Can he read my mind? "I'd love to meet you again tonight but we have family dinner. So...tomorrow at 1."

"Where?" I giggled. I wasn't even able to say more. I couldn't find words.

"At the playground? In the park next to the store from earlier. From there on we can go through the park and maybe grab something to eat?"

"I love it. I'll be there." I was so fucking blushy.

"Great." Fuck...how I wish to be able to see the smile on his face that I heard in his voice, right now. Fuck, I knew this boy for less than two days and his smile is all I can think about.

Maybe it was the fact that he didn't see his smile, whether on pictures or in the mirror, he couldn't practise it or see how bright it is and feel ashamed...maybe that was what made it so wonderful to me. So pure and unaware.