Lost in Red [Jason Todd]

.01

I have my leg hanging over the edge of the building, leaning back on my arm as I just sit in silence, looking out at Gotham City from the top of the Wayne Tower with my helmet sitting beside me. It's the best view while it's so high up that the sounds of the city only make a murmur.

That's until my phone rings.

I reach in my inner jacket pocket and open the flip phone to press to my ear.

"Huh, funny how you pick up this phone and not your cell." The familiar voice of Roy Harper himself greets.

I roll my eyes, "You know this line is for business only."

"Yeah, well then you should've picked up your other line then." He sighs a little, "Been a bit worried about you, dude. Hoping you don't lose your shit again like last year."

I shake my head a little, "I don't have shit to lose anyway, so don't worry."

He sighs almost silently and continues after a pause, "How are you, Jason?"

I don't answer, not like I could really... I stare out at the city and give up on even trying to find an answer.

"Where's the lady?" I ask while clearly my throat a little, my eyebrows pushing together, "How's the trip going?"

He takes a moment to reply, probably deciphering whether to let me change the subject or not. But he comes to his senses, knowing if I didn't want to answer, I wouldn't.

"Izzy...she's uh...she's still working through it. We all are." He says in a tight breath, "It's been easier to manage out here. You know, it might be a good idea for you, Jay—"

"What might be a good idea?" I question as I start to pull myself up, taking my helmet with me.

"Getting out of Gotham for a while. Taking a break from it."

I shake my head and start walking to the other side of the roof, "You know I can't do that."

"And you know that you can. You just won't." He retorts knowingly, "Why would you do this now? Out of all times? Why put the helmet back on now?"

I only remain silent.

"Look, Jay. I know you don't want to talk about it, and that I've said this a million times before—"

"Then don't say it again." I speak through his sentence even though he only continues over me, "—But you need to let it go. They're gone, Jason—"

My jaw clenches. "How do you know that?"

"How do you know that they're still in Gotham?"

"I just...I can't give up on this, Roy. I won't. And you won't talk me out of it."

"Jay, you're only going to hurt yourself if you keep looking for someone who's not there!" He argues, "Why are you making this harder than it needs to be—"

"Don't talk to me about hard, Roy. You have no fucking right. Who fucking cares if I get hurt anyway!? Brielle's death went unanswered, and you seriously think I'm not gonna do shit about it!? Especially when I know who did it!?—"

"You don't know—" He mumbles but I only yell over him angrily, "Who else could it possibly fucking be, Harper!? I'm not dumb! It was my fault! So if I owe her anything, it's going to be this! You can't blame me for that! What if it was Isabella!? We wouldn't be having this fucking conversation right now!"

There's silence through the phone as I breathe deeply and slowly compose myself again. My muscles relax and my breathing steadies.

"I'm sorry." I speak up again, this time much more calm and collected, "I just keep hearing the same shit from everyone, like I'm wrong for wanting to catch her killer."