The Extraordinaries

Chapter Nine: Annie

Elise doesn't wake up early like I asked her to last night, but it's not her fault. She wakes us both at two in the morning, a mess of screaming tears that rises like a monster above me in the bed. For a moment, I am paralyzed on my back, and then I remember where I am, and my breathing returns. I cringe as I reach for Elise and cradle her in my arms. It's repugnant to me still, the idea of holding in my arms the girl who feels for me something I can't comprehend, but I try and remind myself that this is still Elise, still the girl I grew up with. She's nothing but Elise.

"Shh," I whisper. She silences, though slowly, her wails turning to a hum. She's always had nightmares like this, but they've grown worse since the night of the fire, from a few times a year to a few times a week. "Shh," I say, but I can barely keep my eyes open as I say it. All I want to do is go to sleep and forget for a moment about the girl beside me.

It feels like forever before Elise's eyes pop open and the sound emanating from her mouth is truly a silence. She stares up at me, and a chill runs down my spine. I wish I could see in her head the way she can see in mine.

"Annie," she says. "You... you don't have to do that anymore."

"It's all right," I say, although I'm relieved. It might be easier next time to simply wrap myself tighter in the blankets and block out the sound of her misery.

"Well... thanks," she says, sitting up as if we're going to talk. "Really."

I consider speaking to her, but I'm exhausted, so I flop back down, turning away from her so that I face the window. There's light outside, a soft pink beginning to rise in the sky, so I squeeze my eyes shut, promising a few more hours.

But when I wake up at six-thirty, Elise doesn't budge. She continues to slumber as I pack up a small bag with as much food as I can fit, and two others with clothes and basic belongings for each of us. There is nothing that I leave behind, it turns out. We don't have enough between the two of us that there's anything to spare. It's a sort of nice feeling, actually. We're only using what we need, nothing more.

By then, it's nearing eight, and the sun is high overhead. Elise snores like an animal, wild rumbles escaping her mouth. I consider waking her, but I don't want to touch her unless I really must. So I sit down on the edge of the bed and stare out the window at the town we once loved. It was like our own little haven, Hawthorne girls only. Now, I hope to never come back here.

The studio is just down the road, or at least the place it used to be. It wasn't the nicest building, but it helped to bring no suspicion. We were like an orphanage, I guess, and people assumed when they saw us that we were. It wasn't until the Dancers lifted their heads or the Singers opened their mouths that they understood something was different.

I sit there for a while. It's strange: in my old life, I was constantly moving, constantly busying myself with something or other, but now I'm capable of being still for hours on end without minding it much. If I thought I felt a lot back then, I certainly couldn't have expected the extent of my current emotions. It feels as if I'm being ripped apart. I've always had feelings in me that couldn't be explained by anything in my life, but now they're resting at the bottom. There's the grief, stretched out through my entire soul, tearing at my bones. The knowledge that I had something once, something beautiful and meaningful and perfect, and it's all over now. All of my best friends are dead except one, and that's Elise. With Elise, the feelings are much more complicated. Of course I'm still fond of her, but I'm also afraid of her, and I also resent her. I don't know how I'm meant to treat her when there's not just one simple way, which is why the anger tends to rise to the top.

I didn't used to know how to sort out my emotions like this. Aideen taught us, asking us to figure out where in our bodies each emotion laid to rest, and what had brought it on, if anything. I never used to understand the parasites inside my body, turning me into a girl I didn't want to be.