My Own Little Writings

Writing 7

Why?
A question that rings through your head but not the room that surrounds you. Your eyes start to blur as you read and reread the messages sent to you out of the blue.
Why?
You can't help but find that repeating in your head with every passing second followed by another one worded question.
How?
The message on your laptop has encased your mind with a one way way of thinking as you try to come up with an answer for your own silent question, but it only brings up more.
How?
You try to pick apart the last message. The end. As if it was the most complicated math question that would eventually hold the answers to curing cancer.
What?
Another question invades your mind followed by many more. However, you hold back your tears. Not that they would be seen by him anyways.
What?
Shakily, you type out a formal reply as you try your best to pick up pieces of yourself and glue them back on with your now streaming tears.
What did I do?
Why are you leaving?
Will we ever be friends again?
How long have you felt this way?
How can I fix this?
Will you ever talk to me again?
Why did I not see this coming?
What made me think you were different?
Your sorrow starts to merge with a slight anger. Not anger at him. No. You love him to much. You could never be mad at your best friend of five or six years. Your love for that same amount of time. You are mad at yourself. You really did it this time huh?
That's okay.
Go ahead and let the tears fall.
However, don't blame yourself.
For it is not your responsibility to take the blame for another person's reaction.
Don't worry.
You'll build yourself again.
You'll realize your tears weren't meant to be spilt over him.
For you are wonderful.
Listen to me.
You don't need to find someone to love you.
Because I love you.
No matter what.
Even when you can't hear me.
Because as you may try to seem stone cold to everyone I know better.
I know what's within your heart.
Because I am that little voice in your head telling you.
It's okay.
Tomorrow will be better.
Just you wait and see.