Life's a Bitch

Chapter Twelve

Life was dragging on, literally. I wasn't even sure of how many dull days had passed, but I weren't exactly paying attention either. Fundamentally, I didn't really care. My constant mood was quite worrying and horrendous to say the least. I do not wish to be this way, but the angst and dread boiling deep within my core has turned me rotten. An alteration that I despised, but could do nothing about. It was horrible, feeling this way almost every day, but this was beyond my control. I was always a quiet and reserved person. Mainly after my parent's death at the age of 7, I was still quite hopeful. Now though, there was no hope of me being the slightest bit happy. Well... that's what I reckon anyway. I give God the challenge to prove me wrong. Maybe for once something swell could happen in my life, but I doubt it. Ajay had been gone for quite a while now, and my soul was slowly diminishing along with his existence - it was unbearable.

The warm summer breeze grazed my skin and blew my hair about wildly. Couldn't care less. I sat there silently on the park bench, making sure to keep a close eye on Renae as she hung loosely from the monkey-bars. I wish I could be like Renae; have such a carefree personality. She was easily amused, and took whatever life threw at her. Yes, she was 7, but still intelligent. I saw a bright future for my little cousin. I was no fortune-teller, but I know she will be very affluent during her teenage and adult years. The sound of her giggling warmed my heart a little. She was such a happy child. My lips slowly formed a weak smile; it didn't take much for Nae to make my lips twitch with delight. I watched as she released her clutch on the bars and turned to me, then began running towards me, dodging every child that was in her path before standing before me. I laughed lightly, she was out of breath. She held her hand out in protest and panted.

"Gimme a minute..." She breathed heavily. I chucked and she straightened herself once again. "That was more than a workout!"

"I know, I saw." She gleamed and turned towards the plastic bag clutched in my hand.

"What's in there?" She questioned, pointing.

"I bought you a few sweets," I said quietly. Her smile turned to a wide grin and she sat beside me eagerly.

"Gracias, it's much appreciated!" She chimed. I was taken aback by her vocabulary, but then again it was expected. I did say she was quite intelligent. Plus, the more time we spent together, the better-spoken she became. I reckon it's habit, I didn't intend this. I handed her the chocolates and skittles that I had purchased from the corner shop and she ate merrily. We had been at the park for roughly half an hour now. I was deeply bored at home and offered to take Nae out, an offer she could never refuse. Since I had departed from 6th form for the summer I had nothing better to do anyway - just like everyone else within the household. My exams went extremely well, so I guess I was on an early break. I wasn't sure what summer 2012 would bring, but I wasn't optimistic. So far everything has taken a big nose-dive into the ground. I sighed inwardly and checked my watch. 6:32pm. It was getting quite late, I knew I couldn't leave Renae out for so long, soon we would leave. Just then, something on the other side of the park caught my eye. I peered at the boy with his back facing me. His medium build and curly flowing locks reminded me of someone, so vividly. He was talking to another boy, who was stood infront of him. I couldn't see his face, but I was sure that he was the suspect. I slowly stood up and told Renae to stay seated until I returned. As I neared this mysterious being, my hopes began to build. My heart fluttered and my palms became moist with perspiration. Was I actually seeing things? The body language and skin-tone of this boy...everything was familiar.

Could it be... Ajay?

I finally got close enough to inhale his scent. Smelled the same also, or was I just demented? I gradually extended my arm and without hesitance, tapped the boy on his shoulder.