Broken Strings

C H A P T E R T H I R T Y - F I V E

"I...I can't...I've fucked up with them too. I always do." The words were uneven, choppy as his voice cracked. He turned his hand around, intertwining it with her hers, holding onto her, careful of the IV.

Her dark brown eyes held a hint of softness, of care. The corners of her lips were curved upwards, slightly, almost smiling.

"I don't hate you." A faint laugh escaped her lips, almost mockingly. At the foolish girl she was being again.

"After a while, I just gave up. I just accepted things as they were, as they are right now. This is my life. These are my choices, my mistakes, my regrets, my blessings. And maybe I should hate you. I should yell at you, scream at you. But you know, I...I don't."

She looked at Andrew, squinting as she felt a wave of dizziness hit her.

"I'm just so tired of feeling sad all the time."

Because for some reason, sad was all she knew. Sad wasn't truly a feeling. Maybe it was a combination of things. Especially for her. And so, she was always sad.

Anisha raised an eyebrow as someone knocked on the door, wondering who could even care enough to see her. But before Andrew could get up to open the door, she tightened her grasp on his hand. Begging him to just listen to her for a few more seconds.

"I know we haven't loved each in a really long time. I know this isn't how things were supposed to turn out for us. I know we both made our own mistakes and that's why we're like this today. But Andrew?" Sobbing softly, light teardrops streaming down her face, her lips quivering. " I can still remember everything, everything from the way you'd made me feel to the minute I fell in love with you. I can still remember it all. And maybe that's why I don't hate you right now."

"Maybe that's all it is. But I loved you. And I know, a long time ago, you loved me."

It broke her heart as she stared back at him. Messy hair, tired eyes, worry lines etched on his forehead.

Over and over, he'd broken her heart. And this time, she was breaking his.

"I'm sorry we ended up like this. I'm sorry that this is how things turned out to be."

Anisha wiped her tears, putting a smile on her face as Mira opened the door, running to her mother. Ryan stumbling in behind her.

Andrew sat there frozen, staring back at Anisha until Mira stood in front of him. Anisha looked away as he kept his gaze on her and she instead turned to her daughter.

"Mommy, are you sick?" Anisha took Mira's hand in hers, giving her a small but reassuring squeeze as Mira continued mumbling, asking question after question. "Mommy? Why are you in the hospital?"

"Yea, I'm fine now. They gave me the red Advil so now I'm going to be better now."

Mira playfully slapped her forehead, playing along with her mother. "But the red one is yuck! You should've asked for the purple one."

Mira sat down on the side of the bed before reaching into her bag and pulling out a doll, showing her mother her new doll. "Look Mommy, Grandma got me a new doll. It's Cinderella. The blue dress is like the one I wear to Disneyland."

Anisha looked away as her daughter continued mumbling about the doll and the blue colored dress. She looked up at Ryan as he stood by the corner of her bedside.

Smiling, she nodded for him to come closer.

He was quite older than Mira. And from the guilty look and regretful gaze he was giving her, she knew he'd caught on to what was going on.