"i seriously had no idea about that video." i say to my microphone after a while. i wipe the tear which is rolling down my face and take a deep breath.
"can you wait a second, i, umm- yea." i say and put the microphone down. i take a water bottle and start drinking from it.
singing together now is going to be ten times harder after seeing that video. i put the bottle down and take a deep breath. i take my microphone back from the floor.
"hit it carl-viktor." i say and he starts playing again. this time i start singing without any interruptions.
i end the song with tears in my eyes just waiting for me to blink so they could roll down. i can't break down in front of everyone.
"thank you guys, for always being so incredible and supportive. thank you for being here for me and with me even when my other half is gone. you have really helped me, us, during some hard times." i say and look around at everyone. "i miss martinus so much, it has been 57 days since he left me. yes, i have counted the days, because i have been writing him letters. mock me all you want, but that's what he asked me to do. and i would do anything for him. i loved him, he was the most important person to me in the whole world. with these words, i'm saying goodbye to you guys forever. or who knows if i'm going to return to these stages later, if i want to. but for now, thank you for everything, goodbye." i say and blow a kiss in the air before i leave the stage. for martinus.
some people come to me when i get to backstage and start telling me how proud they are. right now all i wanna do is go to my own bed.
i want martinus back. if he was here, this would've been one of our normal concerts and we would have had so much fun. but no, he wasn't here, nor ever will be.
i sigh and put my head in my hands. when is it gonna get easier?
YOU ARE READING
letters for my twin // marcus & martinus
FanfictionCOMPLETED marcus writes to his twin every day. or at least he tries to.
