Leaves

Chapter 2

I wiped my tears before I continued opening the package, I couldn't afford to get anything wet. I set the letter on my table along with a little box and a photobook. I push the package aside and open the letter.

"By the time you get this letter, I'm sure I would've left already. I'm sure you know what I mean by 'left'. Don't cry so much that your eyes will swell the next day, or that your nose will be stuffed when you sleep. I don't want you to cry for me.

Instead of thinking about how I won't be by your side anymore, think about how happy we were together. I know the bad may outweigh the good but it made us stronger and happier. It's easy to ask for and to say, but it's much harder to do. I'm already having a hard time writing this, and I still have so much left to say.

I'll make this short and sweet since I'm having such a hard time writing.

I love you. I love you more than anything else in this world and you should know that, if you don't already. Don't listen to what people say about you or your figure, you're perfect.

You were the best thing that ever happened to me. You pulled me out of the dumps, you made me laugh, and you made me learn to love. I can confidently say that you did your best loving me and taking care of me. So don't blame yourself or say that it's your fault because it's not. In fact, it's mine because I didn't tell you anything about my condition. I know we promised each other that we'd tell each other everything. I'm sorry I broke that promise. Blame me.

Do you remember the time I pulled you into that pile of leaves and laid there with you, staring up at the gloomy sky? That's when I found out I had that rare disease. I just needed you to tell me everything was okay. Your presence that day was as if you were telling me it was okay. You comforted me in so many ways, I don't even know how to repay you.

I was intending to give you this before I found out that I had that disease but things didn't work out the way I wanted it to. So some things might not make sense, but remember that this was supposed to be given to you before I left.

Thank you for staying with me through thick and thin. I love you.

Don't forget me."

That wasn't enough for me, I needed more. I wanted to see more of his writing, hear more of his thoughts - it just wasn't enough. Tears flowed down my cheeks as I put the letter down on the table and picked up the photobook. It looked like a picture book, some pictures were drawn by him and others were pictures that we took together.

I opened to the first page and saw a picture of the park we would always walk around in. It was autumn, the leaves turning a rustic brown and a garnet red. There were two people standing in the middle of the walkway underneath the trees. It was obvious that they were lovers because of the way they were gazing at each other. When I looked closer, I recognized the tan jacket that the girl was wearing. I noticed that the couple was us. I remembered taking this picture after he told me he loved me for the first time. I turned the page and saw the first picture we took together as a couple, then the second one, then the third one. The pictures were organized by date, since we first started dating to the day before you left me. When I flipped to the last page, it was the same picture as the first page but something was different. There were small words in the background that blended in with the background. I brought the book closer to my eyes and read what he typed.

"You don't have to, but just keep it." I was confused by what he meant by that. I thought about it for a long time, did he mean the picture book? But what did he mean by it didn't have to? I sighed and set the picture book down on the table. Something underneath the book kept it from laying flat on the table. I lifted the book and saw the little black box that I had taken out of the package earlier. I had totally forgotten about it. I opened the box and nearly dropped it.

I stared at the diamond ring as my head was filled with questions.

"Is this what he meant by, I didn't have to but I could keep it?"

"Is he saying that I didn't have to wear it but I could keep it?"

"I don't understand any of this."

I sat down on the couch with the book and letter in one hand and the box with the ring in the other. I flipped through the book slowly this time and noticed a letter after each date. I was surprised that I didn't notice it earlier.

"M...

A...

R...

R...

Y..."

I didn't need to flip through the rest of the pages and I knew what he was asking. Even more tears dripped down from my face now. Just thinking about how he wanted to spend his future with me made me cry. It should've happened, he shouldn't have left.

Now I understood what he meant by me not needing to? I didn't need to save my finger for him but needed to keep the ring? I looked at the ring and closed the box. I set it aside and put the letter and picture book in my room.