Leaves

Chapter 1

The leaves fell in showers from the overhead trees as I walked down the street, crunching beneath my feet and bringing back the memories of you and I. We always walked in the piles of leaves together, you would close your eyes and take a deep breath to cherish the crispness of the air on days like today. I smiled as I recalled those memories, but they all crumbled when I remembered that you weren't by my side anymore. You were in a better place, with a better person.

I remember the day the leaves were falling like today, we walked as they crunched beneath our feet; a complete silence aside from the crunching leaves surrounded us. You didn't stop that day to take a deep breath, you didn't pull me to a pile of leaves to step in, and you didn't hold my hand. The overwhelming feeling of dread filled me that day, I had known something was wrong yet I still gathered hope that you may say something and let me in, that you may let me comfort you. You never did, until we reached the coffee shop we frequented after our walks. You told me that you were leaving and that you had someone else.

I asked if it was because of me that you were leaving. I asked so many questions but you never answered one of them. All I wanted was a nod from you so I could feel like it was my fault and you'd be able to live freely without thinking about how you didn't treat me right. You treated me better than I treated myself, I told you that. Yet, you still didn't answer me. All you did was walk away with your head lowered, while I stood there aimlessly for the next hour, thinking about what I did wrong.

Then I received a message from you, telling me that I did nothing wrong and that I should go home instead of standing there. I looked around the park but didn't see you so I asked how you knew that I was standing in the same spot. You read my message but didn't respond until ten minutes later.

"I knew you would stand there. I know you." you replied.

I reread the message when I got home and broke down in tears. This wasn't what I wanted to happen, I blamed myself for not being good enough for you. I received another text message from you. It was like you were beside me, knowing what I was thinking.

"Don't be tough on yourself. It's not your fault." you said.

"I don't know if that's true or not..." I replied.

Your lack of response urged my suspicions and I continued to believe it to be my fault. I threw my phone aside and walked towards my fridge, taking every picture we took together off of it and threw them into the garbage can. I moved on to the living room, throwing the framed pictures on the floor. I hadn't realized that I was crying until I wiped my face of what I thought was sweat. I received another message but I ignored it because I thought it was you. I sat against the wall, hugging my knees closely as I cried. This time, someone was calling me. I thought I would give you another chance to explain yourself so I picked up the phone to see if it was you that was calling. It wasn't you, it was my friend. I answered it anyways.

"He's in the hospital." she breathed.

The clatter of my phone startled me as I realized that what my friend said was real. I rushed to the hospital and found you lying in the hospital bed, your lips pale and your body shaking.

"W-what's wrong?" I managed to say.

"He's not going to make it."

I shuttered at her comment and felt myself fall apart. I should've done something to make you feel better. You should've told me, or at least I should've asked you. I never noticed anything wrong, I was only thinking about how happy we were together. I failed to see that everyone had their own pain, and I started to realize that now. It was too late. You had left already. You had gotten into a car accident with your mom while you drove to the airport to leave to the US. But the doctor also said that you had a disease that was impossible to heal.

My mind was filled with confused thoughts and questions. For the next few months, one question haunted my mind. It didn't let me sleep and it didn't let me focus. I was just thinking about why you didn't tell me.

A package arrived at my door, the sender being you. I thought it was impossible so I never opened it, thinking that it was junk mail from a person that knew us. I left it on my kitchen table and let it collect dust. I never opened it until I had a sudden urge of needing to open it.

I carefully cut the tape that lined the box, recalling how you'd always make fun of me because I was so peculiar with such little things. As soon as I opened the package, I recognized your handwriting and tears filled my eyes as I let out a slight sob, I should of opened it sooner.