Only Olivia

Chapter Seven

At the very moment while Lady Baynes planned a ball, her handsome cousin had the governess pressed against the door of her bedroom. 

“Lord Dryden,” Olivia began. But he placed a finger against her lips. Happiness lit up his handsome face. 

“Philip. Call me Philip.” He insisted, drawing a finger down her cheek. Her skin was velvety smoothness that prickled beneath his light caress. 

She wanted to protest. Calling that familiarity improper made her a hypocrite when the pair of them were hiding in her bedchamber. "Philip." Her lips grew into a smile. 

"Olivia." She shuddered beneath his feathery touch. "You will be attending the ball, yes? Please save me a dance or two or dozen." 

"I would give them all to you." She heard her voice reply. 

“But you cannot.”

Olivia shook her head. “That is of the utmost impropriety.” 

“Two sets? The first and the last.” He insisted. 

“I should not even be in attendance except the whole city believes me to be a poor relation. I will commit to this role until I can no longer.”

“Then what will happen?” 

She shrugged her shoulders. “I will address that when the time arrives.”

“I can take care of you.” Fingers closed around her upper arms. She winced at the sudden contact afraid of his vice grip. Her eyes shot open in surprise. He did not squeeze her into submission. His grip was loose and tender.

“I-I cannot allow such an event to occur. You must understand, Philip, if you turned your gaze to someone younger then I would be ruined.”

“Who is to say that would happen? You know now the depth of my feelings.”

“Who are you to say it will not? No matter how much you may think you feel for me...you do not know how you will feel in a year let alone a month.” Olivia side-stepped away from him. She covered her face with her hands. “I cannot keep having this conversation. I am so close to accepting your offer. Believe me, Philip, I fall asleep to dreams of a life with you. Any kind of life. Even one that would shame the rest of my days. But, I cannot. I cannot!” She repeated forcefully. A rawness edged her voice. It unnerved him. He shut his eyes and let out a breath.

“Olivia...please, darling, please...I will stop asking. I am a boor for making such demands of you. The life I offer you is not for a paragon such as yourself. You need a man who will offer you not just love and wealth but security and marriage. If I were free of my earthly bonds, I would happily wed you. You are so...just so lovely.” Philip said with a sigh. He twisted a lock of her earth brown hair around his palm. 

Olivia’s lovely face scrunched into a frightful glare. “Lovely?” she echoed. “‘Just so lovely?’ That is why you would happily wed me?”

“It is just one of the many reasons, darling. I swear.” 

“No, you just want me as your mistress because of lust. You make speak of love, but your heart is only entranced by my beauty.” She crossed the room in a few strides, her petticoats and skirts billowing about her legs. Olivia’s stomach was churning with this unknown fury. This emotion was rare for her. One did not become a governess when they were prone to anger. “You only want me…” she paused, vision clouding over the words that simmered in her throat. “Because I look like Lady Baynes.” That thought had often floated around her mind when the hour was late and she could not find solace. But, the madness that provoked these thoughts never ventured into daylight.