Solace

Chapter Seventeen

When Louis got back to his room, you couldn't really expect anything less than a smile from him because Harry had been great, Harry didn't seem like he wanted to kill him or befriend him, Harry was Harry and Louis got butterflies at the thought of his dimples, which by the way, were deeper than Niagara Falls, popping up on his cheeks, Harry, Harry, Harry.

Cupid definitely shot a Harry arrow directly into Louis' arse.

He sat on his bed and picked at the covers underneath him, thinking about everything. He felt oddly happy, like the feeling of emptiness from before was slowly being filled up with something, for the first time ever. For the first time ever, he sat on the bed with his back against the wall and legs close to his chest, arms on top of his knees, just breathing, thinking and smiling fondly at every thought containing Harry. 

*

"Hi, dear," Anne greeted him by opening the door wide enough for Louis to walk into her office. He waved at her in a form of a greeting and headed straight for the couch, where she always told him to sit; it was like a routine for him.

"Tea?"

Louis nodded his head eagerly because Anne's cuppas were the best and made him feel a little bit better about everything so why not drink some?

While the kettle was boiling the water, Louis looked around the office, only to see that everything was still the same as two days ago and it never seemed to change and he liked that. He liked having these secure therapy sessions with Harry's mum in the office which didn't at all intimidate him anymore.

Before he knew it, Anne handed him a warm cup filled with the delicious beverage and just the feel of the warmth against his fingertips caused his eyes to close for a quick second and sigh quietly to himself.

"I heard you spent your morning with Harry," Anne asked while blowing on the tea before taking a small sip, "Fresh air is always good. Do you enjoy nature?"

"I think it's beautiful," he sighed. Unlike me, was going through his mind.

"I think so too, I especially love the pond at the end of the field," Anne smiled warmly.

They were both used to long pauses in their conversations, Louis not wanting to initiate the topic or conversation at all, and Anne, wanting to let Louis think and breathe and not pressure him into anything; all in its own time.

Small talk was basically what happened during those sessions, Anne asking Louis about the day, how he felt during particular activities, if the dreams he had almost every night back in Doncaster reoccurred at any point, although there was one topic which Anne hardly ever touched upon.

"Louis," she approached, placing her mug down on to the floor below her feet, "When was the last time you self harmed?"

And with that, Louis froze with his cup in his hands, fingertips tightening around the shape of it because he didn't like talking about it; it was his own thing that helped him with the emotional release and it was definitely only his to keep, right? And Anne knew what Louis was thinking because she didn't say anything for a while. It was only about three minutes and maybe 23 seconds later that she spoke up again, Louis' eyes snapping at the sudden sound of her voice, although it was barely above a whisper.

"Louis?"

And Louis couldn't help but bring his closed fists to his eyes and rub them, all to avoid the suddenly intimidating eye contact but he knew he wouldn't get out of this.

"I can't remember, Anne," he signed slowly, "It has been a few weeks though."

At that, Anne couldn't help but smile because just knowing that Louis had managed to stay clean for longer than usual was amazing and the fact that it had been more than a week was beyond her belief; she was so proud of Louis and it all showed in her smile.