Bean

Chapter 4: The Decision that Changed Everything

When Watari returned from his errands, he found L sitting on the couch hugging his legs to his chest and resting his forehead on his knees.

"Are you alright?" the old man asked.

L didn't answer.

"L? Are you sick?"

"No." L's answer was muffled in the denim fabric of his blue jeans.

Watari could sense something was wrong, but he didn't pry. He removed his long coat and hung it up on a wall peg.

As he was turning to make his way into the kitchen, though, he heard L's voice again.

"Watari?"

"Yes?"

Slowly, L lifted his head and stepped off of the couch. He pocketed one hand, and the other held a few stapled sheets of paper. With his head down and his shoulders slumped over, he shuffled over to where Watari was standing. Then he just stood there, seemingly unable to lift his gaze to meet the old man's eyes.

"What is it, L?"

Without looking up, L lifted the papers, holding them by their stapled corner between his index finger and thumb.

Watari took the papers and looked over the top page.

"Is this a new case?" he asked.

"No."

"Then, what-"

"Do you remember Anya Petrova?" L asked abruptly.

"The... Russian girl. Yes."

L swallowed. He lifted a hand to rub the back of his neck.

Watari was trying to be patient with L's cryptic behavior. Finally, he just stepped forward and placed a hand on the thin shoulder of the troubled, young detective.

"L?"

Bringing his thumb to his teeth, L looked up into the eyes of the only father he'd ever known.

Watari raised his white eyebrows and spoke softly. "What's wrong?"

The kindly old man had seen a lot in the shadowed eyes of L Lawliet over the years. Determination. Passion. Bitterness. Exhaustion. But this was something he hadn't seen in many, many years... This was fear.

L lowered his gaze again to the papers that Watari still held. He gestured toward them. "Last page," he mumbled.

"Alright." Watari removed his hand from L's shoulder to comply. He flipped to the last page and looked down at a photo of a child who looked awfully familiar, though not exactly.

Watari looked up questioningly.

L stared down into nothingness as he gnawed on the thumb tucked between his back molars.

"L, who is this?" Watari asked.

L's gaunt shoulders lifted as he shoved his hand even deeper into his pocket. He didn't look up.

"He's mine," he said quietly.

Watari's eyes widened, though the extent of his shock was not expressed outwardly. He just looked at L, processing what he'd just been told. At length, he cleared his throat and spoke calmly.

"Did you know?"

L shook his head.

"You've only just found out today?"

L nodded.

Watari looked back down at the page he still held and the printed photo on it. It was hard to argue the truth value of L's claim. This little boy looked exactly like him... except for those svelte, royal blue eyes.