Just ideas

Stupidest report EVER

Hey, I had English class today and our teacher asked us to do a report on groups. Well, what started as a formal report in my group turned into a hilarious bout of insanity and I'm going to share it to you all. It may be more or less like the original report done. No one has good memory but I will add some of my elements.

It started like this:

Incident at school canteen

On Monday, 26 February, I was on duty with two other prefects, Jess and Thomas. We were watching over the students who were queuing up for food.

One of the boys cut another boy at the queue and ordered their food. That boy was so angry that he punched the other boy in the face. He spilled his hot food over himself in scalded shock and retaliated with a kick to the groin. They made a spectacle of themselves with the people crowding them and saying 'Fight! Fight! Fight!'

Some of the students were so enthusiastic that they covertly three food at the boys making them think that the other was throwing at them. And it was hot food.

Scalded, the boys were so enraged that they didn't even know who threw at them. They just threw food at each other and unluckily some caught in the crossfire.

In the end, it became a brawl covered in a never ending food fight.

Enough was enough so I told Jess to run to the discipline teacher while I tried to stop the food fight and Thomas stopped the brawl.

Stopping the food fight was impossible to do and I ended up being a walking spaghetti with extra tomato sauce.

Thomas wasn't having good luck either. He tried to stop the brawl but someone accidentally punched him. So he started going tai chi, taekwando, wushu, and whatever martial arts he could muster on that guy. Unfortunately he missed the guy and hit an innocent girl. She cried while a boy came forward and said, "That was my girl, you..." and started punching. Then on and on.

It was when the discipline teacher came that he saw one big mess. An array of boys on both side were fighting all over while the remaining students were throwing food at the guys fighting like a game.

I don't know how that happen but I was just pushed in this mess and ended up fighting someone twice my size. He tried to punch me so I had to use some self defence.

The discipline teacher was shocked at the outcome of this misdemeanour and quickly went to the centre of the fuss. 3 people fighting each other with one fainted next to them. One of them was Thomas who had fire in his eyes. Jess didn't do anything standing shock still.

While the discipline teacher was taking the bull by it's horns, Thomas, 'The King of Martial Arts' accidentally punched him.

A witness teacher called the police of this event, believing it to be a gang fight going to the extremes.

A teacher who witnessed this immediately called the police, thinking this was some kind of gang fight.

When the police arrived however, it became another pandemonium occurred. Every student saw the police, froze for one second and ran like their pants were on fire.

It took only a few seconds to control the situations though actions of 'self- defence' was used. Especially a boy to a policewoman. More for pleasure than anything else.

Finally all was caught except Thomas who secluded himself in the toilet. When the police screamed at him to get out, he said to go somewhere that made the police flinched and winced like 'ouch'.

Thomas tried to do a runner but he was finally caught crying after injuring two policeman and accidentally killing one.

In the end, because all of them are minors, everyone involved in the fight were all sent to 10 years of juvie. Parents were extremely upset about this turn of event and are increasingly removing students who weren't arrested, were increasingly removed from school.

Due to that, the school is going to be out of business in a week by strong advice from the police and society. This is one of the last reports for the school and thinking back in my cell, I couldn't believe that simple fighting could lead to this catastrophic turn of events.

Submitted by: 27 February 2017
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Donald Trumpet,
Head prefect,
Nephew of a certain *cough* president,
.... School

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Approved by the warden.
***

And fin.

So what do you think? Do you like it?

Have fun!