Of Pillows and Politics

The Cult

It took Mike a moment to collect himself. His mind was racing with a thousand thoughts, but all of them contained the single word: Bernie. 

Bernie was stunning. Absolutely gorgeous. A beauty. 

He cursed himself for only seeing his looks. Was he so blinded by lust? Would physical appearances be all he saw in this man?

Mike had voted for him. Yes, remember everything about him-his cunning, his kindness. His toned body, his soulful eyes, his perfect-

No! Not again!

"Hello, Mike. I'm Bernie Sanders. But please, call me Berns."

He's the kindest man alive! 

Then he remembered the more pressing issue. He was tied to a chair in the middle of a group of strangers. 

"T-Tell me why I'm here!" He demanded. His voice was harsh and unkind, different than his many infomercials. Bernie was shocked by this, and took a step back. But he could not help but be intrigued by this man's fire. His passion. His beautiful mustache. 

Bernie held his hands up in a sort of surrender. "You want answers. I'll give them to you."

And honest, too! Ack-I'm getting sidetracked again. 

"We are a cult devoted to the downfall of Donald J Trump."

"The downfall?"

"Yeah, so here's the thing," Gabriel cut in. "None of us here like old DJ Trump. We liked Obama, better-"

"Word."

"-Thanks babe. So the only way to get rid of him is to, well, assassinate him. We've picked up on how unhappy you are with the election's outcomes. So we want you on our side. And if you don't think we're legit, just talk to our man on the inside."

Man on the inside?

"William. Sanford. Nye."

(Cue Bill Nye theme song)

The lights flickered off, and the room went black as pitch. A moment later, the flickered on again. Standing by his side was none other than Bill Nye The Science Guy himself. 

"Bill?! Is that really you?!"

"It sure is," He winked. "I may or may not have started an affair with the president-hey, don't make that face-so he tells me all the information we need."

That was actually...very cool. 

"So will you join us?" Bernie's intense gaze bore into him. Mike shivered. "We need you. You may be our only hope."

He had the chance to leave. He could have said goodbye and rid himself of the cult, and saving the world, and Bernie...and Bernie. Bernie had stolen his heart from the moment he laid eyes on him in person. He had the golden opportunity for love right in front of him. A chance that was small, but for Mike, it meant everything-perhaps more than his pillows. 

He nodded. His journey had only just begun.