i don't think i'll ever stop admiring her, whether it be from afar, or when she's a breath away,
however, i do think about more things other then her,
i mean, it'd be foolish to make my life revolve around her.
even if i wouldn't mind it.
like the sky, the stars, the galaxies, my insecurities, the blood running through my veins,
how my heart beats just a little faster, how my hands shake with fear,
how waves of happiness cascade onto me, how happiness takes me all at once.
there's more to life than me.
i think it took a while to realize that neither of us matter,
that nothing revolves around me but my own damn mind,
that the thoughts that poison me are my thorns, and i bleed.
yet here i am, clutching this rose ever so tightly.
my red rose is bleeding purple from my blues,
tainting my hands, and trickling onto the floor, my frivolous thoughts
and anxiety chipping away at my being, bit by bit.
and it's hurting like hell.
there are more things, like things that worry me, things that rattle my heart,
like the fear i've seen flash like lightning in my mothers eyes,
disappointment flicker alight like a flame in my fathers,
disgust glow faintly in my siblings, growing every minute.
and shame dripping from my lashes.
i imagine my mind as a small room, confined and tense,
it's where my thoughts crowd up only to be held back in my throat,
my tongue serving as a barrier.
i may be my own crack in my own dam.
as much as i may think about other things,
as much as i may digress from her,
she always has and will plague my headspace.
and i'm scared that i'm okay with it.
- bleeding purple from my blues
YOU ARE READING
growing wings | Completed
Poetry❝my freedom was at the cost of my sanity❞ how far would you go to earn your freedom, if it meant stripping away your happiness and losing your mind. freedom does not mean liberat...
