All That's Left Is To Wait (short story)

All That's Left Is To Wait (tw: abuse)

Today was really rough, and it had just gotten rougher, and it was about to get absolutely horrible. I wondered if it would get so bad that I'd have the nerve to cry, or I'd just sit there and feel numb.

For starters, I got a science test back and I failed miserably. I couldn't find my friends at lunch time, so I just decided to go draw in the library whilst listening to sad music in one ear and the sound of the rain hitting the window in the other. The weather outside was gloomy with the smell of worms and a light rain all day long. The grass made this sloshing sound if you walked in it and muddy water had seeped into my sneakers. I didn't mind the weather much. It made me feel less alone.

But that wasn't gonna help me as I stood outside of school, near the back, with cheap drugstore lipstick on my cheek and my wet hair starting to stick to my face. The only sight I had was that of the concrete with my head tilted down, and I spotted a worm in all of it. It had been trying to get to the grass for about five minutes, but it had given up and was now just lying there. All limp and helpless in the rain, probably to be eaten by a robin soon. I felt bad for it, so I grabbed a stick and helped it over to the grass. If I couldn't help myself right now, at least I was gonna help the worm.

You might be wondering why I stood there so long, long enough to see a worm trying to get to the grass. I was standing there because I felt like I was switching bodies after what had just happened. In the middle of the day, Noreen, my now ex-girlfriend texted me in the middle of the day and told me to meet her behind the school when the day was over because she has to tell me something. I resented her for texting me in the middle of the day, because I couldn't focus on anything for the last two periods.

After waiting outside the school for a couple minutes, she came out and stood beside me. "Samuel, I..." She started, as if her voice were walking on eggshells. She laughed nervously, because that was a habit she had. Uh oh. Something's going down. "God, I should just cut to the chase, shouldn't I?"

I turned over to her and she looked ashamed of something. Maybe what she was about to say, or something she'd done that would cause her to have to say what she was about to say. The colour drained from her face, her eyes like stone. That look was a look that I knew, because I'd seen it on others and I'd felt it on myself. I spared her and said it for her, although it greatly pained me to do so. "You wanna break up."

At that, her breath caught in her throat and a couple tears slid down her pale face. Why is she the one who's crying? I thought. After wiping her tears away which were slightly greyish from the mascara she wore, she managed a nod. "Yes."

I nodded as well, because I didn't know what else to do to acknowledge it. I could see it coming, and I knew probably why she wanted to break up- but as I nodded, I felt my heart shake out of its place a little. My fragile, glass heart had just cracked again, and a piece of it fell off onto my stomach, which was sinking, which had butterflies in it from the anticipation. The glass was killing all the butterflies as pieces fell.

She sighed, and I regained eye contact with her. "Say something, goddammit." She forced out through fits of sobs. I hated that even through her sobbing, I could still understand what she said. I hated that I could recognize it as her voice even though it was so different from what it usually sounded like. But I guess I was used to recognizing an ever-changing voice all the time. I was sick of it.

One butterfly remained, and it had a question. Before I could even think, the butterfly flew up into my throat and out my mouth. "Is it Kyle?" I asked, and my voice was extremely shaky. My lip quivered slightly, and I hoped it was just because I was getting cold and not because I was about to cry.

Her sobs stopped almost instantaneously and there were now just tears falling down her face. She didn't say anything about it, she just nodded. Using your words wasn't always easy, but I was sick of people taking that easy route. She was looking straight at me when a look of concern befell her. She put a hand on the side of my face and I winced a bit. She pulled away gently. "Again?"