Lady Eilean

Chapter 16

Shaking my head, trying to harmonize my thoughts, I let out a huff of air. The vapor steamed in the cold room. The varnished wood of the desk, gleaming with the flicker of inelegant, homemade candles that stank of greasy meat, caught my eye. On it, a half-read later from Alex that had arrived two weeks ago. I had forgotten all about it. No doubt someone had called me away while reading it for some task or emergency. As I reached for the parchment, a terrible clap of thunder exploded. I jumped. My heart lept into my throat and it took a moment to calm my breathing. Standing, I walked to an open window and braced myself against the ledge. The cold stone bit through my chapped fingers. Freezing rain splashed my face, and the wind whipped my hair against my cheeks. My stomach growled. There had only been a thin stew of dry carrots and shriveled barley for dinner. The broth nothing more than diluted seawater. At least brine was a flavor.

I found serenity in the storm's violence. For all the pandemonium of my daily life, this moment of repose, this deluge and show of might from the sky felt like a reprieve.

The weather was not unlike another night almost two years ago, after our last successful harvest and a few months after Walther had returned home in a box.

I had been sitting in my room that night, watching a similar storm and chewing on a hard, stale piece of bread. Pitying myself, drowning in feelings of helplessness and defeat. When the clock struck midnight, a servant burst into my room and pleaded with me to follow her.

"What is going on?" I asked, frowning at the interruption. It had been a long day and far past the time anyone might need me.

"It's Bess! I mean, Lady MacLeod," The girl panted, her face red. Despite her agitation, she wore a happy, loopy smile.

I had done everything in my power to make Bess a legitimate member of the MacLeod family, giving her all the accommodations and respect any wife of my brother might expect. Even though money had been tight when we had it, I offered her a small allowance. She accepted it, but only after weeks of persuasion. I could not ask her to quit her work in the kitchens. She had held my hands in hers, commenting on the blisters and calluses on my palm.

"All of us are working, Eilean. I don't expect to stop," she said.

Days were so busy and draining that I hadn't seen Bess in weeks.

"Bess? What about her? Is she ill?" An unexpected flutter of familial concern passed through me. There was no basis for it. We were not close, but she was my responsibility as my brother's widow. Walther would have been ashamed of my neglect.

"Ill?" The servant laughed, "No! She's having her baby! Come, come now! She wants you there!" The girl gathered up her skirts and ran down the hall, leaving me in a stupor.

Baby? Baby? Since when had Bess been pregnant? I counted the months in my head, realizing she would have been with child at the wedding. A flicker of something warm sparked in my chest. Baby! A baby! I dashed out of the room and followed the servant girl to Walther's chambers. When I walked in the door, the stink of sweat and blood hit me. A handful of women gathered around Bess, who was pale and drenched on the bed. Stripped totally naked, blond hair plastered to her forehead and chest. She screamed, and I wondered how I had spent the entire night without hearing her.

"Just in time, mistress! The head is nearly born!" A rosy-cheeked woman with soft arms and a toothy smile called to me over her shoulder. The midwife.

I stepped back, cautious of being in the way.

Bess gritted her teeth and growled as she bore down. A maid mopped her brow and encouraged her to breathe.